There are so many ways your partner can support you during labor! They can provide physical support, such as counter pressure. They can provide emotional support, such as advocating for you and your birth experience.
It can be overwhelming as a birth partner to know what to do, when to do it, and to also manage the logistics of the birth space. So, preparing together can be so helpful!
Here are some ways your partner can support you during birth, and how you can prepare for birth together!
Physical Support: Labor Positions & Comfort
Physical support is one of the easiest ways to provide support during labor. It’s easy to have a list of laboring positions, comfort techniques, and then apply those techniques during labor.
This could include:
Exploring laboring positions together during pregnancy to see which positions feel accessible and comfortable;
Practicing counter pressure techniques;
Holding, kissing, touching you during labor;
During labor, physically leaning on your partner can help you relax more with contractions too!
But, it can be hard to know what to do when, or how exactly to do it if you haven’t practiced it during pregnancy or taken a childbirth education course. And some of us do not like to be touched during labor!
Some tips on knowing WHEN to do a comfort measure include:
Firm, steady pressure DURING contractions (counter pressure, for example)
Increase the comfort measure DURING contractions (tens unit increase, running or pouring water on back or belly)
Jiggly type techniques or massage in BETWEEN contractions
We break down different physical comfort techniques to use during labor in our childbirth education courses.
Emotional Support: Advocacy, Relaxation Techniques, & Verbal Affirmations
Emotional support can sometimes feel overwhelming for our partners, especially while managing their own emotions during birth. Some partners find this area of support to be easy, while others really struggle with providing emotional support.
But, emotional support doesn’t need to be words of affirmation at the perfect time, it can also include helping you feel comfortable and confident during your labor.
Emotional support could include:
Words of affirmation (you are doing so great, I am so proud of you). These phrases should be authentic to you and your partner. You can discuss ahead of time if there are certain phrases that mean a lot to you for your partner to practice saying ahead of time. If it feels awkward, it’s okay to not use words of affirmation.
Advocacy for you and your family. Discussing ahead of time what your birth preferences are, and how you would like to navigate different scenarios with both your partner and your provider can help your partner better advocate for you during birth. If your partner better understands your preferences, they can help you navigate them during labor. This could include asking for more time to discuss!
Relaxation techniques can be simple! You can try progressive relaxation. Starting at your head, your partner can list areas of your body in sequence to relax, until they reach your feet. This gives you your partner’s voice to focus on over contractions and also gives you a predictable routine of relaxation.
If your partner feels unsure of providing emotional support, having someone there who can provide this area of support could be helpful, such as a family member, friend, or hiring a doula.
Logistical Support
The logistical support can be the easiest way to support us for some of our partners! Logistical support includes having your partner plan how to get to the hospital, the supplies you will need, and providing those supplies during labor.
This could include:
Packing the nourishment bag of snacks for you all during birth, such as beef sticks or bite-size pieces of fruit;
Ensuring your water bottle is not only packed but refilled throughout labor;
Reminding you to use the restroom periodically throughout labor;
Packing extra batteries for the TENS and ensuring all labor comfort tools are prepped and well-stocked.
Focusing on areas that our partners feel more confident in providing support can help them feel more included in birth! We may know that our partner is not great at emotional support, so maybe we bring in a friend who is better at the emotional aspect or hire a doula, and then focus our partner’s efforts on the logistical or physical support! We cannot expect our partners to do everything for us!
Preparation Tips
One of the biggest ways you can prepare for birth together is to take a childbirth education course together! You AND your partner should be preparing and learning about birth together!
Learn what to expect and how to navigate labor in our childbirth education courses. We offer our courses in person or virtual via zoom once a month on Sundays. And we offer our course completely online and self-paced with pre-recorded videos!