When googling “C-section”, several “related” searches auto populate: topics that include keywords such as POOCH, recovery, mom bod, and flatten your tummy.
A few clicks later I’m engulfed by countless ads, articles, and images targeting postpartum women desperate to HIDE or disguise their c-section scar.
There are lotions, workouts, aesthetic procedures, lasers, and even tattoos guaranteed to “hide the evidence” of your cesarean birth. 38+ weeks of pregnancy, major abdominal surgery sometimes after lengthy labors, and learning to care for a newborn on minimal sleep only to be met with a barrage of societal expectations to “get our bodies back.”
It’s absolutely bewildering. Where do we start?
Note: all of the same expectations exist for anyone postpartum regardless of the birth method.
The messaging is clear: When the baby is on the inside, we will worship & adore your belly like a beautifully wrapped gift. Nourishment, rest, and growth are highly encouraged prenatally. Immediately following birth, however, you must hide the evidence of this transition. We expect you to whip yourself back into shape and we agree to celebrate with comments like “you don’t even look like you had a baby.”
7 Questions to Consider for Compassionate Healing Postpartum
We can move into a space for healing by dismantling antiquated societal expectations for motherhood and meeting this transition with compassion.
Consider the following guiding questions or potential journal prompts as a part of your own healing journey.
- WHY is the evidence of this massive transition so socially unacceptable? My heart and mind have changed, why must my body return to a previous shape?
- WHY is cesarean birth considered a lesser valued form of birth? What are my own biases?
- HOW does excess belly tissue, stretch marks, or overstretched abdominal muscles diminish our worth or value?
- Obviously it doesn’t. This is an intentional line of questioning aimed at exposing the ridiculous expectations.
- WHY should I feel ashamed of my expansion?
- WHY is it superior to have a body that is impervious to pregnancy and birth.
- Unchanged by aging?
- Unaffected by major abdominal surgery while sleep-deprived caring for a newborn?
- WHY is it more acceptable to call an overburdened exhausted new mom a “superhero” than it is to stop and ask how we can support them? So many moms waving white flags as they slowly drown in expectations, all while we applaud their self-sacrifice. “You got this girl” and other toxic (albeit well-meaning) positivity.
- WHY wasn’t I offered specialty guidance for healing after cesarean birth? (Physical therapy, additional follow-up appointments, education on scar tissue mobilization?
My Body is Strong Enough to Expand and Take Up Space!
Learning to accept, embrace, and love a body changed by birth is an eternal process. It’s clear our societal messaging needs an upgrade.
In the meantime, we can work with mindfulness practices to notice and replace critical thoughts with reverence for the incredible transformation that our bodies have undergone.
Consider the mantra: my body is strong enough to expand.
Surgery is undoubtedly major trauma to the body whether it was planned or emergent.
A distinct period of rest, healing, and rehabilitation support is necessary. Hiding the evidence is not.