The MamasteFit Podcast Episode 120 – SURPRISE!!! Roxanne’s Pregnant?!

Gina: Welcome to the MamasteFit Podcast. I know that we said that the era of childbearing for MamasteFit was over… Roxanne lied, apparently. She is in it for one more time.

Roxanne: The universe…

Gina: This is not a sustainable business model, but.

Roxanne: The universe said otherwise.

Gina: This is likely the final MamasteFit baby between the two of us, and then the next generation can take over from here. But, we’re going to share Roxanne’s pregnancy announcement in this week’s episode.

Surprise! Roxanne has at least one baby in her tummy.

Roxanne: Hopefully, just one.

Gina: Her daughter is rooting for three.

Roxanne: She really wants triplets.

Gina: But ultrasound…

Roxanne: She’s telling everyone that there’s triplet.

Gina: Ultrasound said just one.

So how did I find out that Roxanne was pregnant? Because even though this is her episode, I’m gonna be the only one talking because Roxanne is super nauseous.

We had a brand partnership that we were supposed to do where you need somebody who is having an active menstrual cycle to use the product so that we can talk about it. And Roxanne texts me and is like, “Ugh, I don’t think I could do the partnership anymore…” and my immediate response was, “Are you pregnant?” to where she sent me a picture of her pregnancy test. She’s like, “I don’t know…” and this happens every pregnancy. Every pregnancy you send me a picture of your very clearly “PREGNANT” pregnancy test, and you’re like, “I don’t know, I might have line eyes right now. I don’t think… this is really unclear!” And it’ll even be like a digital one that’s like, “YOU ARE PREGNANT,” and she’s like, “I don’t know, maybe this test isn’t accurate. Ah!”

So Roxanne is pregnant. How did you feel when you found out that you were pregnant with what you thought was… not… you did not know that you were gonna be pregnant?

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Again.

Roxanne: I had suspicions. So obviously we are doing natural family planning.

Gina: Not well.

Roxanne: Not well, because if you don’t listen to your fertile window… it is… ineffective.

Gina: So we did a whole video on birth control and natural family planning- just don’t listen to it, because…

Roxanne: Well, do listen to it because the red days…

Gina: Don’t even watch it.

Roxanne: …like your fertile window is effective. If you do not engage in unprotected sex in the middle of your fertile window, you’re good.

But knowing when your fertile window is, in the moment, but also, when you’re in the mood, maybe question it for a second. But I was talking to someone else about it, like, it sucks because that’s when you, like naturally, hormonally want… want it the most.

Gina: If only we had other birth control methods that we utilize.

Roxanne: That is… that is on my list.

Gina: If only.

Roxanne: We engaged. But also like the taboo of being a 35-year-old adult in a marriage of almost 10 years, I was like, “Condoms just makes me feel like I’m a 17-year-old, like trying to have sex with my boyfriend when I’m 17, not get pregnant,” because it just, you feel so ridiculous in the store buying them. So I’m like, I just can’t.

Gina: You gotta take away the stigma, Roxanne. There’s no stigma with it.

Roxanne: But there… it’s there. So that’s, these are all my learning points that obviously, hindsight, all my learning points. Also scheduling your sterilization procedures is also helpful.

Gina: We did a star chart reading like a year ago, and that’s how I found out my due date, or, the day I was gonna give birth, ’cause the star chart lady was like, “The moons are aligned in these ways and the one that’s your mother planet is most aligned at this point, and so you’re gonna go into labor on this weekend. Because of the moons.” And I was like, “Cool.” And I did, I went into labor.

Roxanne: You did!

Gina: And she told me it’s gonna be a slow start, and then it’s gonna go really fast. And it did just that.

Roxanne: I know, I need to reach out to her.

Gina: So Roxanne was like, “Hell yeah, let me in on this star chart reading, I want to know my future.”

Roxanne: She was off on the dates though.

Gina: She said, if you would to not have another baby, you need to do something about it.

Roxanne: No. She said if I didn’t want to have another baby to abstain at the end of January, beginning of February. Which I abstained in January and February.

Gina: ‘Cause your husband was deployed.

Roxanne: But I abstained during that time. I listened to her. She didn’t say anything about April, March! She didn’t say anything about April or March. Just January.

Gina: So how did you feel when you found out that you were pregnant, unexpectedly.

Roxanne: Well I had an inkling. So I was at the birth center the day I was supposed to start my period, and I’m prepared. Like I had my disc with me, I had my period underwear for just in case. And like halfway through the day, nothing happens. And I’m like very regular, I’m a very regular person, and normally I would’ve been like, “It’s such just off. I’m still getting back into my cycle. It’s FINE. I’ll wait until Friday, if I don’t get it on Friday, then I’ll take my test.” But I texted Patrick, my husband, and I was like, “So you need to get your, you need to schedule your vasectomy, ASAP,” and he goes, “Why do you say this suddenly on a Tuesday afternoon?” And I’m like, “‘Cause I was supposed to start my period today, and I did not.”

Gina: So the same thing happened to our parents- except the opposite happened, where my mom got her period and did NOT get a positive pregnancy test- where they thought they were pregnant with their fourth kid. And my dad, or our dad, was like delaying his vasectomy and he was just like putting it off and putting it off. And then my mom was like, “Honey… my period is late,” and he was like, (panic). And then she got her period and he was like immediately in the doctor’s office.

Roxanne: Yeah. Yeah. It is now, like, initial consult’s scheduled.

But so, I was at the birth center and I was like, how in the hell am I gonna get a birth con… birth… pregnancy test? A birth test! A pregnancy test.

Gina: That would be nice if there was a birth test that told you what day you were gonna go to labor.

Roxanne: Oh yeah, that would be like… someone could create that! That’d be pretty great.

Gina: I’m sure there’s a hormonal thing.

Roxanne: You could probably do something. Let’s just add that to the list.

But, obviously they have pregnancy tests at the birth center, so I did acquire one, and took it home with me ’cause I didn’t want to take it out the birth center, ’cause I would’ve just spiraled, by myself there.

So then I get home. We eat dinner with the kids, and then I go to the bathroom and I take it, and I leave it there, and I just lay on the bed for a little bit. Just, you know, let it marinate.

Gina: Did you tell Patrick that you were doing this?

Roxanne: Yeah, I told Patrick I was doing this.

So then, he walks into the bathroom and he goes, “What does that mean?” and I was like, “What? I don’t know, what is it? I haven’t looked yet, and he goes, “There’s two lines, does that mean we’re good?”

Gina: Yeah, you’re good and pregnant.

Roxanne: “Does that mean we’re good?!” And I’m like. “Yeah, that means a positive. That’s a positive.” He goes, “What do you mean? What’s a positive? You’re good?” “That means we are pregnant.” And he goes, “Are you sure? Are you sure that’s what that means? I don’t know if I trust it.” And I was like, “We can get another test if you want,” he goes, “Yes.”

Gina: How often are there false positives?

Roxanne: It’s like super rare. I did read the box because I was pretty convinced as well that it was a false positive.

Gina: I think it’s probably more…

Roxanne: It’s 0.2% risk of it.

Gina: I think there’s probably more people that think they see a second line.

Roxanne: Yeah. It’s more, more false negatives, also, like where it was just too early in their pregnancy to have the double lines. But no, this, it changed pretty quickly, so, like, strong, like strongly positive, not like faint line. It was like very clearly obvious and I was like, “It could be false.”

Gina: “This one’s broken.”

Roxanne: Like, “It could be something else!” So then he like goes and buys like, like the fancy digital ones. And so we took those over the night, and we just laid in bed processing, just held hands and laid there as our children refused to go to bed. And I was like…

Gina: I will say the transition from three to four was pretty easy. You’re already outnumbered.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: So it’s really, what’s another one?

Roxanne: Yeah, at this point. So then we slept on it and the next morning I felt more accepting, and my husband was also like, “It’s fine,” he’s like, “We will figure it out.” He’s like, “Obviously, we have three. What’s another one? Just add in another one. We’ll figure it out.”

We had our day, our little night to process, grieve our future that we were imagining of having three kids in their own beds, having my own bed back to myself, not having to pay for another kid with childcare, going on vacations without a newborn. Just kidding.

Gina: It’s hard to, so a lot of hotel rooms, it’s five.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: So with six, I have to book two rooms.

Roxanne: Yeah!

Gina: Right now I don’t, like Zoe, we’re sneaking, we’re smuggling her in.

Roxanne: She just doesn’t count yet.

Gina: But once my kids are older, I have to book two hotel rooms.

Roxanne: Yeah!

Gina: Whenever I travel.

Roxanne: Yeah, unless you get like a suite.

Gina: So, logistically the jump to four kids.

Roxanne: Yeah, you also have to think about like cars. Thankfully I already have a car that could have four car seats, but…

Gina: That’s why I had a fourth kid, I had enough room for one more.

Roxanne: Yeah, but my husband’s car can’t fit four car seats in it. Which, honestly, he might be okay with just getting a new car, he really wants the same car that Baron has, Gina’s husband.

Gina: Oh, if you get the ST you can do the free driving course.

Roxanne: But there’s enough room for four car seats in that one ’cause there’s a third row. It’s a pretty tight squeeze in the third row, but it has a third row. But also, no car payment is nice.

So, our house, also, is a four bedroom. So like logistically, if we could get this baby to share a room with Joan, that’d be ideal. But, Joan is also still in my bed. These are all the things that I’m like processing.

I’m also processing the fact that I’m going to graduate midwifery school- hopefully, fingers crossed, send me birth vibes, everybody- in August, September. Probably take my boards in August, September, hopefully pass on the first try. No one will know when I take my test just in case I fail, but you’ll know if I pass it. And then originally I was gonna take some time off before starting working to just enjoy life as a licensed midwife without any worries about being on call for just like one or two months, and then I was gonna start working. Now I can’t really do that, because those one or two months would then be December, and then I am gonna have a baby and then maternity leave, cause I would like to take maternity leave. And then, like why did I even start? Do I start and then just take maternity leave, or do I wait until after maternity leave? So obviously these are all the spiraling things that I’m like thinking about.

Gina: But are you excited now?

Roxanne: Yes. It’s been four weeks since we learned. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Today is week eight of pregnancy. I found out the day before four weeks. So it’s been four weeks. We are definitely more excited now. I still think it’s a lot to process. I think anything unexpected, that you weren’t planning for is hard to sometimes process at first, and kinda like work through accepting whatever is happening in that moment. But we have to be adults and eventually accept it, and start to move on from it, or move forward with it. So we are obviously more excited. The kids are really excited. They’ve been asking for another sibling for about two years, since Joan was born, Lily has been like, “I would like another one. More!”

Gina: Another, please.

Roxanne: “More babies, more babies,” and I’m like, “Oh, we’re not gonna have another baby like this, just enjoy this baby!” And then Zoe was born and Lily was like, “I would like another, Mom. Can you please have another baby? I want a baby like Zoe,” and I’m like, “You do remember that they grew up eventually and they stopped being this like cute, tiny little baby, and they become like a toddler, like Colin?” And she goes, “No, I would like another baby.” And now she wants three of these little babies. If it becomes triplets, I will need a lot more time to process! But, we are more excited.

And we figured, like we planned, now we’re gonna try for, we’re gonna have a home birth. We’re gonna have a home birth. Being positive!

Gina: So what is the shift for you? Because in previous episodes and experiences you’ve said that you were never comfortable with a home birth, based on all the things that you know about as a medical professional. What has shifted for you that has made you want to do a home birth instead?

Roxanne: Probably like attending home births as not just a sister, and then doing clinicals with the home birth midwife that I’m doing my clinicals with. The way that she like approaches all of her counseling and just like the length of the appointments, and it’s just a different like relationship building, where one of the births that I went to, like I knew her, I like saw her like for a lot of her pregnancy and like being at the birth was like super emotional and I like, cried. And I’m like, you wouldn’t get this in like a hospital setting, necessarily.

Granted, like that’s like me being the provider for the birth and attending that would be like, really, it’s really special that I feel like it would be nice to have that same bond with the person that is attending my birth as the midwife. ‘Cause granted, I love all of my midwives that I’ve had previously, ’cause I’ve had, with my first, I had the same one for the entire pregnancy, and then she came for the birth, so that was really special. But I just feel like it’s different because those were all like 15, 20 minute appointments that you don’t talk about, like, life, you just talk about, “Oh, how are you feeling? Do you have any questions about your pregnancy? Any aches or pains? Are you drinking enough water? Okay, have a good day.”

Gina: So previously you’ve said that you know too much about birth and that’s why you didn’t feel comfortable with the concept of home birth. How have those fears been mitigated for you, that you feel more comfortable giving birth at home now, knowing everything that you know about birth?

Roxanne: Probably just like learning the actual statistics of it. Like obviously that’s still going to always still be a fear in the back of my mind. But also understanding the actual likelihood of those things happening. And granted, I do bleed a lot. But like I had discussed this even prior to getting pregnant, because I don’t know, maybe it was just like, I had a sense that it was happening, I don’t know. The universe was telling me to prep my thoughts.

Gina: I mean, you did do a reel that was like, “Showing up to my midwife appointment…”

Roxanne: I know, I manifested too hard. I manifested the wrong thing. I’m trying to manifest people coming into labor when I’m at the hospital and instead I manifested a pregnancy!

But probably cause I had a conversation with my preceptor about like my birth, and I was like, “Yeah, like I just bleed heavier.” And even with like my first, I bled heavier, and with Colin’s birth I bled more, but it was also like my uterus was lower, but like I didn’t feel the same way after. I probably recovered the easiest after Colin’s birth. I don’t think I bled as much at his birth because I think the environment was just different. And then we were discussing my birth with

Joan, where the hospital I was delivering at, their policy is that they don’t deliver the placenta until the cord is cut, but they knew that I wanted to do delayed cord clamping, so she was curious if, one of the reasons I bled so much was because they were delaying delivering the placenta that was ready to be born because I wanted to delay cord clamp, but they couldn’t deliver the placenta until we cut the cord. And she’s like, “So I wonder if that’s why you bled so much, because they should have just delivered your placenta.”

Gina: Or maybe it was the 20 people staring at you.

Roxanne: It could have been like a lot of things, but I bled like a ton with Joan, more. I couldn’t see it, but I felt it in my body. I definitely shouldn’t have left. I should have probably gotten a blood tranfusion. But, it’s like there’s now all of these things that I think about that I’m like, maybe I would rather just do this at home where I trust that she ain’t gonna do that shit there. Or, I’m just like, whatever, at this point. I’ve had all the other births. I had a hospital birth, had a birth center, why not try at home now? It’s fourth baby. This will be the last.

Gina: We’ll see! Stay tuned! I will say it’s, it’s been good motivation for my husband to go get his vasectomy done because we are done at four. We are good. I feel complete at four.

Roxanne: I will say that I’ve been seeing, of course, now, like everybody on Instagram is announcing their like unexpected pregnancies. And I always, I’ve been saying that everybody has thankfully asked in a really nice way, like very few people are like, “Oh, you’re pregnant! Congratulations! That’s so exciting for your family!” And at first I was like, “Yeah, thanks. Cool. Like, I’m still like very sad about this. Thank you for your congratulations, but…” A lot of people that work in birth usually start with, “How are you doing? How do you feel about this?” Instead of just quickly going to, “Oh my God, congratulations! This is so exciting for you!” Because at the moment that a lot of these people I was telling- because I had to make plans for future jobs and clinicals, ’cause if I am like vomiting, I cannot go to clinicals if I’m actively vomiting in the first trimester- none of them were like, “Oh my God, this is so exciting for you! I’m so excited for your family!” They’re all like, “Oh my gosh, how are you feeling? How are you doing? Tell me how you’re feeling. Are we excited? Are we still processing?” And I was like, “I really appreciate this because this is giving me the space to be like, we are working through our feelings. I’m sharing this information with you because I feel I need to, but also ’cause I feel that you are safe people. But thank you for giving me the space to not like immediately feel like I need to be excited instantly, because YOU think I need to be excited. Like you are giving me the space to feel like it’s okay to not be instantly happy.”

It’s like, unexpected and unplanned, but not unloved. Like we love the baby. We’re very excited for them now, but in the moment I was like, I’m still processing a lot of emotions and I also now have extra hormones to process these said emotions. Thank you for giving me the space to feel okay crying about it.

But then more recently, now everyone’s just, “Oh my God, I’m so excited for you!” And I’m like, “Thank you! I’m glad I’m telling you now, when I am now excited about it, and not four weeks ago when I was still crying.” So I think that’s like also changed my perspective. I already did this in clinicals whenever it was like the first initial like pregnancy confirmation, I always say, “Okay, so before we begin, like how are we feeling like physically, mentally, emotionally? Was this like expected? Are we still processing emotions? What do you need from me?” And half the time they’re like, “We were hoping to not be pregnant, but now we are more excited.” And I’m like, “Cool. Do you want to share any of your feelings with you right now? This is a safe space that we can talk about things,” and some people will be like, “Yeah,” like they’ll go on their little spiel of like how this was unexpected and unplanned but not unloved and going over all that. And I think that’s, this has now also changed my perspective of that is very needed to give them the space to say it’s okay not to instantly be excited just because I feel like the world tells you if you’re not immediately excited, then you’re like a shitty parent. Like you’re gonna just.

Gina: Like, “Why aren’t grateful for this magical thing?”

Roxanne: Yeah. “It’s such a blessing.”

Gina: “Do you know people like struggle?”

Roxanne: Which I understand! And I understand that, so then that it makes you feel shittier, that like people try for years to have a baby, and I was not planning on a baby. Now I have one. So it does make you feel really shitty because you’re like not instantly excited, but I think it’s also giving yourself space to be like, “My feelings are also valid.” And it’s okay that I wasn’t instantly excited. It doesn’t mean like I love this baby any less, and I would still be very sad if they left us, so like now they can stay put, ’cause I’m pretty, pretty committed.

Gina: I’m attached.

Roxanne: I’m pretty attached to this little four week old fetus. Like they’re now mine, they cannot leave. So I think that’s also hard because some… like I think, one in four people have miscarriages and I’ve not had one. And so the entire first four weeks I was like, “Fuck, I was so upset that first day. Now the universe is gonna be like, ‘Okay, you weren’t happy. I’m gonna take your baby away.'” I was like, “Oh my God, please don’t take my baby away. I’m happy! I’m happy, I swear!” So then, yeah, I like think I had one day of like cramps, ’cause I like ate nothing and drank nothing. I’m like, “Oh no. Please, universe! I’m happy! I’m happy, I swear!” So yeah, those are all the processing emotions that I’m currently feeling in this exact moment, over the past four weeks, in just one five minute spiel.

Yeah, it’s a lot to process, I think. Pregnancy is weird. Also just…

Gina: And the first trimester is just rough, also.

Roxanne: Yeah, it’s so rough.

Gina: So add that on to all your feelings and emotions.

Roxanne: I can’t eat.

Gina: And processing.

Roxanne: Just freaking potatoes and pasta.

Gina: Is this your first pregnancy that you’ve like really struggled with eating?

Roxanne: No, Colin’s pregnancy, I… it wasn’t like, I don’t think I’ve ever had nausea, bad, with any of them. But like Colin’s, if I didn’t eat dinner by 4:00 or 5:00 PM- which like, we do not eat dinner at 4:00 or 5:00 PM, like we are an 8:00 PM dinner family, or at the time we were- I was like struggling if I didn’t eat anything before 4:00 or 5:00 PM. Like I didn’t eat anything for the rest of the day. I went to bed ’cause I felt like awful after that. That was probably the worst. Like, Joan’s wasn’t terrible. I was just a little sleepy, unless I’m just phasing it out. Lily, I had no morning sickness.

Gina: Yeah, I don’t remember it being that bad.

Roxanne: Lily and Joan, it wasn’t really that bad. I think it was mostly just, I would throw up if I brushed my teeth.

Gina: Maybe it’s your turn, Roxanne, to have a shitty first trimester.

Roxanne: Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’ve taken a lot of naps. I teased myself like the first two weeks weren’t that bad and I’m like, “Oh, I’m gonna be fine!” But now it’s just like constant nausea.

Gina: I felt like weeks 6 to 10 was like the roughest, and then it got a little bit better.

Roxanne: I will say, I have thrown up a couple times, but every time I’ve had to throw up, it was either, I like immediately just brushed my teeth, and I just, like, the tongue, it’s… I’m just ignoring my tongue right now.

Gina: It’s the reason why dental hygiene (plummets).

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: During pregnancy.

Roxanne: My tongue is not being brushed, because I can’t. I will throw up.

Gina: If I rinsed too hard, I threw up.

Roxanne: If you rinsed too hard?

Gina: If I rinsed…

Roxanne: What kind of… what are you doing when you rinse?!

Gina: Or, if it touched the back of my throat.

Roxanne: Oh, okay. Got it. I was like, what are you rinsing with?

Gina: Real aggressive swishing.

Roxanne: But no, I think it’s if I eat the wrong thing and then I instantly get into the car, those are the times that I’ve thrown up. Every time that I’ve thrown up, I was in the car.

Gina: So what are you taking to help with the nausea?

Roxanne: So every morning I drink my collagen protein from Needed in my morning cup of coffee. I did try it in orange juice… I didn’t love it in the orange juice.

Gina: You really have to blend it well in juice, yeah, because it’s cold.

Roxanne: But coffee, I really like my warm coffee in the morning with my collagen protein, and I’ve noticed a difference in my nausea. Like today, I didn’t have the collagen protein, I thought I was gonna die earlier. Like I was like, “Oh, just take me. Take me out. It’s so bad.” Like eating a baked potato like five minutes ago, “I’m not gonna survive!” ‘Cause I didn’t drink my collagen this morning, my morning cup of coffee, ’cause I went to a coffee shop instead with my daughter. I should have brought collagen with me! But every morning that I take it, my nausea is better until about like mid-morning and then it like comes back. So it lasts me for the morning. So I guess now I need to just add in an afternoon collagen protein.

But I ordered the sleep and relaxation from Needed, ’cause someone told me magnesium is also really helpful for nausea, so I’m gonna add that into my evening. I thought I had some, but my mom took them so I needed more, ’cause I’m gonna try it out, see if it helps.

Gina: I don’t know, she’s gonna need it more.

Roxanne: I know, she’s about to have seven grandkids.

Gina: A bunch of grandkids.

Roxanne: So sorry.

Gina: Eight.

Roxanne: Eight grandkids. Nine!

Gina: Nine, including our brother.

Roxanne: But he doesn’t live here, so.

Gina: Who I thought was gonna be the next generation of MamasteFit babies.

Roxanne: I know. Just kidding. So sorry. But now he’s gonna, she’s gonna have a friend.

But no, so I’m excited to try the sleep and relaxation, see if that helps with my nausea as well. And then I am still taking my prenatal vitamins as tolerated, with my iron, and choline, and omega. I do not take it every day. I’m giving myself grace because I don’t feel like taking it every day. I would rather, if I’m gonna take it, I would like it to stay down. I think if I’m gonna go through the work of swallowing all those pills, I would like them to do actual things in my body, versus having to throw them up instantly.

Gina: Yeah. You could also use the powdered prenatal vitamin from Needed as well.

Roxanne: But even that, I would need the smoothies. I don’t love it in my coffee, ’cause I think it adds, I don’t love vanilla flavored coffee- I think I’m, I think I’m the only weirdo that doesn’t like vanilla flavored coffee. I like lavender. If they can make a lavender prenatal, that would be great. No?

Gina: I don’t like lavender.

Anyways, if you want to check out Needed and the products that Roxanne is taking, I also live their collagen, their prenatal vitamins, the whole gamut, you could check them out at thisisneeded.com and use our code MAMASTEPOD to get 20% off your order.

So lots of plans have changed for you. You had probably this vision of how your, the next phase of your career.

Roxanne: I had a five year plan.

Gina: And that is all (deflating noise) because now there’s a baby that’s gonna be introduced. Which for me, I find the first year of a baby’s life is very time consuming and taxing on me.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Because it’s really, I can’t really go away, I can’t do like work trips. If I go, the baby has to come with me, with like our mom or with somebody that’s gonna watch her. And so how has that adjustment been for you and changing your life plans? Obviously we’re excited for a baby, we’re adapting, but things, your plans have changed and you have to shift what you were envisioning for yourself.

Roxanne: Yeah, so I’m still figuring that out. I think I’m just gonna take it one day at a time because obviously my five year plan was my kids were going to obviously continue to get older, they would need me less, I would get a part-time, full-time, whatever is available, job as a midwife, while also doing this. And now I can’t really do that with a newborn. ‘Cause I do really enjoy my time with my kids when they’re like babies, like the first couple months, just like being able to be home with them and like just spend time with them. But, I can’t really do that forever with them, with the need to get a job and start practicing as a midwife in some capacity. But like I can’t bring a baby to work with me and just like strap ’em on my back. That’d be weird if a little baby was just staring at you on my back as I’m like doing your fundal checks, or delivering your baby. I mean, maybe people would like that? I think it would be odd.

Gina: I’ve seen like pictures and stuff of like home birth midwives with like their baby strapped to their back. But babies and toddlers are really unpredictable.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And so I could also see how bringing a baby or a small child into someone’s birth space can be really disruptive. ‘Cause even my own kids get disruptive during my labors.

Roxanne: That part will definitely, also planning like how they’re going to fit in our house as well as my husband’s job opportunities. Like he can’t, we need to stay here for childcare with four children. I can’t leave! I mean, I couldn’t leave even with three, let’s be real. But, definitely not four, one of them being a newborn!

Gina: I’ll say the fourth is it feels like the same as three. And Lily will be older.

Roxanne: That’s what they all say.

Gina: They’ll be older.

Roxanne: That’s what everyone says, that it’s like after you have three…

Gina: It’s really a gateway drug, because I can totally see why people have five and six kids. ‘Cause once you have the four, you’re like, this really isn’t that bad. But for me, because of how time consuming the first year is with baby I, and I’ve said this in a previous episode, I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m missing out on my older kids because I am stuck with this- not stuck like that sounds bad- but that I am really focused on the baby. Like most of my attention is going to the baby and I don’t get to spend as much focus attention on my older kids. And so while I think baby four is a gateway drug we’re stopping at four, as much as I love little babies.

Roxanne: A gateway drug!

Gina: Because I want to be able to go do cool stuff with my older kids, too.

Roxanne: Yeah. Without having to bring a baby.

Gina: We’re moving past that phase.

Roxanne: Which is like where I’m at right now, is that I don’t have to bring Joan anywhere. She can stay home and get food, and then I can just take my older daughter, or Colin, and do like just a Mommy and me. Whereas before, everywhere we went, the baby, Joan, had to come with us.

Gina: You and me, and me and you, and our friend, Steve!

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Steve!

Roxanne: Steve. Steve is great, but like sometimes they really just want like actual one-on-one time with you. And like now when I take them and we just go and do something with just me and them, like they really do love it and appreciate it, ’cause it’s, “Oh yeah, it’s just like me and Mommy’s special time.”

Gina: And Steve!

Roxanne: And Steve. So, yeah, so I was very much looking forward to just like one-on-one, actual one-on-one, not one-on-one plus a baby time. Like I took my daughter to get our nails done and it was just me- well, Adeline came. So Steve was Adeline, but they loved that! So it was like the two older girls, and Emo or mom, where I didn’t have to bring my baby with me ’cause she could stay home and not require milk.

Gina: Yeah. We’re just starting get to the point where I can leave Zoe for like extended periods of time to come and do focused work for like several hours and then go back. Before, I could do baby like two hours.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And then I have to go back’s in two hours and then go back.

Roxanne: For like this planning, MamasteFit, now I’m gonna have a baby that we’re gonna have to bring to childbirth eds again, or figure out like having to take breaks to breastfeed. Hopefully this baby just takes a bottle like my Lily did.

Gina: All of these kids since then has boycotted bottles.

Roxanne: They hate bottles so much, which was super stressful with Colin.

Gina: We’re six outta seven, hating bottles.

Roxanne: Yeah. So if this one, could take a bottle, that would be really great.

Gina: Maybe like the bookend baby will be a bottle loving baby.

Roxanne: No, but fricken Zoe said, “no bottles,” so fingers crossed. Send me baby…

Gina: Your baby is the bookend.

Roxanne: Oh yeah, that’s true. Freaking Lily would drink bottles, like whole five ounce bottle in two minutes. If that could also happen to this baby, that would be great. It’s very convenient. Lily would also love to feed the baby a bottle. If there’s three… now that I’m thinking about Lily, yeah, if there’s not triplets, there’s only one.

Gina: She can feed all three of them.

Roxanne: Yeah, she’ll feed all three.

Gina: She can feed two.

Roxanne: They can be her triplets.

Gina: And you can feed one, one of them.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Just give one to Joan, give one to Lily.

Roxanne: No, Joan would just drop the baby. Adeline can come live with us and she can feed one. There’s only one baby. Don’t. Don’t start the rumor that I’m having triplets.

Gina: Oh God.

Roxanne: Lily is starting the rumor, the number of her teachers that have been like, “Oh my gosh, I heard congratulations are in order! Lily has been telling us there’s triplets?” And I’m like, “There’s only one. There’s only one,” and they’re like, “Oh, that’s way better! Okay! You seem way, you seem happier with just one,” and I was like, “Yes. So it’s not triplets. It’s not triplets.”

Gina: Oh please, God.

Roxanne: And then Lily in the background, “Please let it be triplets!” No.

Gina: I’ll remind you of this, Lily, when you are of childbearing age.

Roxanne: I know, I told her she could have triplets if she wants to have triplets. I was like, “I will support you through your triplets, but I do not want triplets.” And she’s like, “But you’re not a real midwife yet!” By the time you have triplets, I will be a midwife! 20 years from now.

Gina: So yeah, this baby was not…

Roxanne: Expected.

Gina: Expected, but very loved.

Roxanne: Very loved and wanted.

Gina: So you have processed.

Roxanne: Yes.

Gina: You’ve grieved the future that you were envisioning for yourself.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And now that future just includes a little baby.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Your friend, Steve!

Roxanne: Our friend, Steve.

Gina: Your friend, Steve!

Lots of changes coming, and we get to have another MamasteFit baby and you all can join us on the journey- I will say that’s been one of my favorite parts about it.

Roxanne: I know, there’s so many people due around the same time as me.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: Which, January is not a very common time, a due date.

Gina: We have shared each pregnancy since Eoghan’s.

Roxanne: Fairy early.

Gina: And, like, throughout. How did you feel sharing the pregnancy really early, before we conclude? That was something that I’ve always done. I’ve always shared it super early.

Roxanne: I usually always want an ultrasound prior to sharing, ’cause there’s always like the risks that it’s like not an embryo and there’s other things that it could be. So I think before I shared I wanted an ultrasound, and so thankfully I do clinicals where there’s ultrasounds so I can just get it early. But even last time, with Joan, I think we got it at seven weeks, at like the boutique ultrasound, and that makes me feel more confident to share early. But also I knew that if, it didn’t, if the pregnancy didn’t continue, I would rather have support. And then also, I wouldn’t have to literally tell every single person that I did tell that I was pregnant prior to the announcement. Like having to send the message of, “Just kidding…” I could just make an announcement on Instagram and then reshare it, and then that could have been an easy peasy way to share it, but also a lot of people would be there to support me through it. Versus, just being alone, processing, one, an unexpected pregnancy, and now, loss.

Gina: I will say the people that had announced their pregnancies to me that like maybe I don’t interact with all the time, six months later when I noticed that there was no baby, I just made an assumption that they maybe had a loss. And so they never had to like, reconfirm with me, or come back and be like, “Hey, I know that I told you… but actually…” they never had to do that conversation with me. It was just something that I recognized.

Roxanne: But the people that I told were like people that I was close with, so I would. Obviously I would text

Gina: I would hope so.

Roxanne: Not just be like, “Just kidding.”

Gina: As somebody who has actually had pregnancy losses and announced very early, I found it really helpful to have a community as opposed to grieving by myself.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: To have people that I could rely on to help support me as I was grieving. And also I wanted to be excited from the beginning and celebrate the baby from the beginning, as opposed to, “I’m only gonna celebrate this baby when they’re born,” that was not a good feeling for me personally, but I think whatever somebody feels most comfortable doing is, it’ll be individualized, but that’s my perspective as somebody who’s actually had losses.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: So how you feeling now? You had a little bit of a cry sesh in the middle of this podcast.

Roxanne: Yeah, I know I did. Emotions.

Yeah, I’m still obviously working through all the emotions. We’re definitely more excited, excited to plan the future, and get the house ready for another baby now, fourth baby.

Gina: And then is it a boy or a girl?

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Stay tuned, we’ll be including…

Roxanne: Or, has a penis or a vagina.

Gina: …the reveal video.

Roxanne: Whichever one resonates more with you.

Gina: We’ll include the reveal video on this podcast.

Roxanne: Yeah, will it be a Steve?

Gina: Will it be a Steve or a Stephanie? Stay tuned.

Thank you so much for listening to the MamasteFit Podcast and following along with our pregnancy journeys, our postpartum journeys.

Roxanne: We listening to us babble, babble.

Gina: We thought that the era of MamasteFit babies had concluded. JK, LOLZ, we are doing it one more time and by we, I mean Roxanne, we are not a lesbian couple. We are sisters.

Roxanne: Yes, we are sisters.

Gina: With husbands.

Roxanne: People still think we’re a lesbian couple though.

Gina: Like with eight kids.

Roxanne: People still message us.

Gina: That’s…

Roxanne: Or I see people out in public and they’re like, “Oh wait, she’s your sister?” And I’m like, “Yeah, she’s my sister. What did you think?” And they’re like, “I just thought she was your partner!” I was like, “That we had eight kids?! You kidding me? That’s so expensive! Do you know how much sperm is?!

Gina: Every other year?

Roxanne: Do you know how much sperm cost?

Gina: Poor planning. Anyways.

Roxanne: IUI is not, cheap, y’all!

Gina: Thank you for listening to this episode and following along our journeys.

If you want to be on this journey with Roxanne, there’s still time!

Roxanne: You can still join.

Gina: If you are already on this journey, feel free to check on our online courses to support you throughout your pregnancy. We have our prenatal fitness program that Roxanne is loosely following right now.

Roxanne: I did one day!

Gina: In the first trimester. She will actively resume it at the second trimester when I force her to exercise.

You could check out our prenatal fitness program, so we sync it to your week of pregnancy. There’s trimester options so that you can choose a journey that fits best for you based on where you are along this journey. We also have our online childbirth education course to help you understand what is going on in your body right now, and what’s gonna be going on during labor, because birth is one of those like really mysterious, scary things for a lot of us. But if you understand what is actually happening, it’s a lot less scary. And so we want to help empower you along this entire pregnancy and birth journey.

And we also have our weekly updates for each week of pregnancy from my pregnancy that you can follow along with, too. So subscribe to that playlist and you can follow that along. And coming soon is our pregnancy week by week newsletter where you can sign up for the newsletter and get a weekly email to your box telling you everything that you can expect in this week of pregnancy, so stay tuned for that. Join our prenatal fitness program, join our Childbirth Education course. We’re excited to support you throughout your pregnancy. And thanks so much for following along.

Roxanne: This podcast is sponsored by Needed. Needed is a nutrition company that focuses on the perinatal timeframe that both Gina and I have utilized. I’m currently utilizing it a lot more now, and if you want to check them out, head to thisisneeded.com and use code MAMASTEPOD to get 20% off your order.