The MamasteFit Podcast Episode 149 – Roxanne’s Fourth Birth Story: The Home Birth of “Bonus Baby” Harvey

Gina: Welcome to The MamasteFit Podcast. This episode is gonna be a highly anticipated episode, with Roxanne’s Birth story of Baby Harvey, who is here with us. So if you’re watching the YouTube video, you get a little peek at him, even though you get a huge peek at him on Instagram and stuff as well. But we’re really excited to share Roxanne’s, maybe final birth story. We’ll see. We’ll see.

So welcome, Roxanne. Welcome back to work. Finally off maternity leave day and ready to crush it with a fourth baby. So let’s dive into how was the end of your pregnancy? So Harvey is a i, I forget the term you like to use for him. ’cause accident was not the right term.

Roxanne: No. The bonus baby.

Gina: Bonus baby. Because with Joan, she was your planned last baby. You guys felt complete, you had totally processed that you were now in the child rearing phase of your life, no longer childbearing. And then Harvey decided that he would like to keep you in this chapter. But now you are…

Roxanne: The universe sent us (him).

Gina: You are maybe now done with this chapter. So how are you feeling, or how were you feeling in your last few weeks of your pregnancy with it being your bonus, final pregnancy?

Roxanne: I mean, mentally it was hard- just, “when is labor gonna start?” kind of thing. But other than like, “this is like the last time,” I was very excited to not be pregnant again. But I was trying to enjoy the last few moments, ’cause it’s still sad, I think, anytime it’s like the final thing that you’re gonna do. Like, just like the final year of high school and college, it’s like, oh, I’m never gonna be in this stage of my life again. So it’s still always sad, ’cause it’s like you’ll never feel like the little kicks in your belly, even though like at the end of pregnancy they are quite strong, you’ll never get them again. So I was just like enjoying the last moments that I could have with like a baby in my belly, but also I was very ready for him to come out.

And I think a lot of people asked me, and I think a lot of people like even commented on, social media and send messages of like, “Stop sharing.” Like, “you’re getting, like, this is why your labor’s not starting. It’s ’cause you’re like, just updating us and feeling like you need to, like, update us.” But I think it was also, it gave me something to do, ’cause like what else was I freaking doing between 37 to 40 and five weeks? Nothing.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: So like, had I not done that, I would’ve probably lost my mind. And so like updating and being humorous about like, oh, is my baby gonna come today? Even though like I knew he probably wasn’t coming till closer to 40 weeks, it still like made me not feel like I was going crazy. will that work for everybody? No, I don’t think that that works for everybody. But for like me personally, I don’t think that it prevented labor from starting, which a lot of people, it was like, “once you stop posting, you’ll have your baby.” I’m like…

Gina: Well, we also had the opposite where people were, when we were doing the 12 Days of Christmas, like birth prep movements, which was really just like humorous, like we were just being silly.

Roxanne: Yeah. Did I think my baby was coming at 36 or 37 weeks? No.

Gina: And there was people commenting that were like, “Why do you want your baby to be born at 37 weeks?” Like, “What’s wrong with you?” And so I think we get it from both ends where people are like, why would you want to not be pregnant anymore? And then also like, why are you sharing so much of your life? Just focus on yourself. And it’s like, well first of all, this is our platform. We can do whatever we want with it.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And something that has been really powerful for us in the past 10 years of MamasteFit is being able to share like these intimate parts of our motherhood journey and connect with other people in a similar phase, which has been super fun.

Roxanne: He just keeps putting his face into the sling. I lifted it up, and then he’s just like…

Gina: Right, right in the little nook. Roxanne is wearing a Hope and Plum ring sling. Their fabrics are really beautiful.

Roxanne: Yeah!

Gina: And they sent her this one. They’re a really amazing baby wearing company, so if you’re looking for a baby sling or baby carrier, highly recommend.

Roxanne: I do really like this ring sling.

Gina: They are very beautiful. I also really like Sakura Bloom. I’m not wearing it right now, but.

Roxanne: No, but they are sending me a ring sling from them as well, so I’m excited to try out all of the ring slings.

Gina: Just we’re not, they’re not sponsoring us or anything. We just really like their products and like sharing about things we buy.

Roxanne: If you’re curious where this was from. Well, we can link it below.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: Pain-wise, I felt pretty good. Like my pubic bone pain would come every once in a while, but most of the time it was just when I would wake up in the morning after sleeping in bed where I was like in a relaxed state, so like my muscles weren’t on. So like when the first time like I actually had to use my muscles and stand up, my pelvis was like, “What the F? I don’t like this.” But then it would, it would like go away as soon as I would like walk to the bathroom.

But I felt mentally ready for labor as ready as you could always be for labor, the fourth time. Home birth, very excited for it. We had all of our stuff ready for home birth, practiced blowing up the pool. We did patch our pool and our pool, Gina’s pool, like three times! We could not find the hole, or like the patch job we did was not very good. It held up for the birth. I mean, that’s what we were doing, like multiple times.

Gina: The pool is like over three years old.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: As well. And has been borrowed by multiple people. Probably not stored very well in that three year period.

Roxanne: But you’d think… that hole, like, we could not find it! We did like the soap, but it was like the smallest leak. So it would be full and then like an hour later it was starting. So thankfully I had a fairly quick labor, spoiler alert, where it was still somewhat inflated, but by the end I was like, “We are about to lose water onto our floor if I lean onto this too hard.”

Gina: I remember you texting me if it was okay to throw it away. And I was like, I think that’s a sign that that was the last baby.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: MamasteFit baby. Nobody else needs to borrow this pool from us.

Roxanne: No. If there is a another MamasteFit surprise baby, we’ll just need to buy a new pool.

Gina: We’ll just buy a new pool.

Roxanne: You can get the nice white, aesthetically pleasing one.

Gina: Yeah. With the birth mantras written on the other inside.

Roxanne: Yeah! That’s… we’re not, we’re not manifesting this though.

Gina: No.

Roxanne: But no, end of pregnancy, I honestly did feel really good until I hit 40 weeks. Because I started having prodromal labor probably maybe what, like around 39 weeks, where like some days, like they would come on pretty strong for a few hours and then just like disappear, fizzle away. Where I’m like, “This feels kind of like the beginning parts of my labor,” but like it just never continued through. Like a couple of nights I had to put the TENS unit on to be able to go back to sleep, and then I would put the TENS unit on and then I would wake up in the morning ’cause like they stopped. And I would always only need like the lowest setting on the TENS unit that I used. But I was like, “What the heck? Like, just continue! What are you doing in there, baby?”

So I did do like, continue to do, our like birth prep circuit. I would hold the inversions for a little bit longer than the three breaths in hopes like, oh, maybe his like head is a little wonky. But I honestly think it was just my body was like, “This is your fourth baby and I’m annoyed. I’m preparing, but like, I’m not ready yet.”

Gina: “I’ll do whatever I want.”

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: I was also getting ready to leave.

Roxanne: Yes. And so that’s when, at 40 weeks, that’s when I think mentally I was like, “Gina leaves soon, like, in like a few days… and things are not happening. What the heck?”

Gina: So the stress wasn’t from social media, it was from Gina.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Departing. So a little background, ’cause we did get some, we did get one really angry email from somebody.

Anyways, we had the Disney marathon weekend trip planned last March.

Roxanne: Yeah. You have to sign up for Disney marathons in advance.

Gina: So almost a full year in advance. And it was the January, I think, 8th through the 11th or 10th or something like that, were the races- so there’s a 5k, 10k, half, and a full. We also signed up our two employees for the half, or for the 10 K. So we were gonna be going and meeting them, they were gonna meet us there. We were paying for their, we were essentially paying for a family vacation for the two of them, to include their hotel, their registrations, and all that. And so I needed to be there ’cause this was also their family vacations. If it was just Roxanne and I doing the marathon…

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: We would’ve just got a, like a, you get 50% off, you get a 50% refund for a gift card if you back out of your registration. We would’ve totally just done that. Because our dad was like, “Why is Gina going to Disney World? Roxanne’s, like, due any moment now!”

Roxanne: Yeah. But we signed up in March and then I got, or found out I was pregnant in May. So like…

Gina: And it just happened to be this weekend that she was literally due.

Roxanne: Due the weekend of.

Gina: So we were really hoping that Roxanne would go before I left, because historically she doesn’t go past her due date. And then we were hoping that she would stay pregnant until I got back- and I did actually shorten my trip by several days to get back sooner. And I even shortened it on the front end to leave later so that I can try to get it. And spoiler, I did not get it. But I couldn’t just cancel the trip ’cause I, we literally had two families that needed me to be there so I could pay for their rooms and all their stuff. So there, there was more than just Gina that was being impacted.

So I was leaving the next day. I think this was the eighth I was gonna leave.

Roxanne: Yes.

Gina: In the morning.

Roxanne: And the seventh was my due date.

Gina: On the 7th, Roxanne texts me and she’s like, “I think I’m having contractions.” And I’m like, “We are gonna do all of the things to make this happen.”

And so I like quickly get ready and I run over to Roxanne’s house. I’m like, let’s go for a walk. Let’s do some breast pumping. Let’s, we’ll have Casey come over and do all the needles, and we’re just trying to get this to progress.

Roxanne: Yeah. And it did not.

I will say like when I woke up, it was very, the contractions were very similar to what I would experience in my early labors in all of my previous births, where I woke up and they, one, they woke me up, and like they were like between three to like nine-ish minutes apart, feeling it mostly in my back, and then like starting to wrap around into my belly. So that sensation was the exact same, and I was like, okay, this is the most promising. Like the other days it was mostly just in my back, and now I was like in my back and my belly. And I would, some of them I was like, oh, I needed to breathe through like that one, but like, it just never seemed to progress throughout the day. And I think we went on like multiple walks and like some of the walks made them more intense, but I don’t know if it was also just like my muscles were getting tired. Whatever was happening, I think deep down, I knew it wasn’t like after a few hours I was like, it doesn’t seem to be like today is the day, but I wanted it to be the day, ’cause Gina left literally the next day at 4:00 AM.

Gina: So rude. So rude.

Roxanne: So yeah.

Gina: So, I thought Roxanne was kind of progressing, like, and I think I was also like, for sure this is it. This is it.

Roxanne: We were really trying to will it into existence.

Gina: We were trying to manifest it as hard as we could.

Roxanne: We were really trying to manifest it.

Gina: And so from my perspective, I was like, okay, she seems like they’re, they’re a little bit closer together. And historically we transition very quickly from early to active labor, like, when that transition happens, it’s pretty quick and we’re usually pushing, like shortly after that. And so my initial thought was like, okay, her midwife is like two hours away and she’s got like appointments and stuff she’s thinking about. And so we need to figure out when should she come to where it’s enough time for her to come and get settled and for Roxane to feel comfortable, but also not so early that she’s just like hanging out with us. But also if you’re like me, you don’t totally like settle into it until like your team is there.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And so I was communicating with the midwife, trying to figure out like, when should she come? And it seemed like you were in more labor than you were earlier, but like not really like shifting into a point where you needed support. And so I was like, “Well, the contractions are definitely closer and they seem stronger, but she doesn’t need support yet. However, usually she shifts pretty quickly and she’s still very talkative, even until the later parts of labor, and I don’t want you to not be here if it shifts very fast, too.” So I had her come, and then her assistant came, and the birth photographer came. And then everyone like hung out in the room and was just like chatting and I was finding myself getting like really frustrated ’cause I was like, if Roxanne has any chance to like be in labor, she’s not going to sink into it ’cause like everyone’s having like a really loud conversation about things unrelated. And so I was getting like really frustrated, and at one point I, I think about like two hours into it, it was probably like close to like five or 6:00 PM and I was like, I have to leave for my flight in like seven hours and she has not shifted into active labor yet. And usually it’s like three to four hours from when we shift, and I’m like, we got a fucking do something. Like, oh my god.

So I realized that the room was probably not an environment that was gonna let you go into labor if you were heading in that direction. And so I asked if you wanted to go into the shower or like go for a walk to like, give you an opportunity to like be solo to see if that helps you kind of sink into it. So yeah, so that’s, I think that’s where you can continue, sorry.

Roxanne: Yeah, so then we did go for a walk. Prior to, I think my midwife had offered like to check me and then like strip my membranes and I was like, well, let me go for a walk first to see if that like helps things. Because we had, tried like nipple stimulation, I was eating and doing all the things and it just never seemed to just like tip over the edge. So we went on a walk with everybody. I did not bring a jacket and I had some regrets about that, it was a little cold out, not used to my January labor. So Gina gave me her sweater. And then we went on a walk, I think it was like me, Gina, Adeline, I think came, Gina’s daughter, and my daughter, and then my husband- obviously needed. And then I think we got back to my house and my, me and my husband just went on another walk while they went back inside.

And on the walk, I remember him saying to him that I was like, “I just feel like it’s not shifting and like it’s not gonna happen.” And he’s like, “Well, you know, it could happen,” ’cause he like was encouraging me and wants to be nice, but I was just like, “I don’t. I don’t think it’s gonna happen tonight, and I’m really nervous about that.”

Gina: So you came back.

Roxanne: So I came back.

Gina: And you were not in more labor yet?

Roxanne: No. The contractions, like when we would go on walks previously, they would pick up, but this, it did not really pick up on this walk. And I think that that was like telling, like in the back of my head, I was like, it is not, it’s not happening. But I again, still had hope that maybe fourth baby, like maybe things are just like, chilling. Or maybe I’m just like walking around five centimeters in like prodromal labor and like, just break my bag of water and a baby will just pop out.

So when we got back, I was like, we could just see what, see what’s happening, and then strip membranes if like, things are happening and like baby’s gonna happen sooner. Like maybe that’ll like help push things along. So we did have my midwife check my cervix and then she did strip my membranes and then afterwards, ’cause I didn’t want to know to like, mess with me, but like in hindsight, maybe I should’ve, maybe knowing what it was, would’ve changed my plans. Because afterwards, she was like, “Okay, we have to have a conversation based off of what your cervix was.” She’s like, “You were one centimeter and super thick.” So like, not, not very much effaced. And then obviously that’s when I was like, okay, Gina’s not gonna be at my birth because like, it’s not happening. Like I’m not going from one super thick cervix to a baby.

Gina: I mean, you never know!

Roxanne: Before 4:00 AM.

Gina: With no contraction anymore.

Roxanne: Yeah. So like, and then I think that obviously like stopped my entire labor because I was so stressed that Gina was gonna leave. So nothing progressed after that, really, for the rest of the night. I was still having contractions, but like, not really. And me and my daughter just sobbed in our tub after everybody left, but.

Gina: After we sobbed.

Roxanne: Yeah. So one, 30% super upset, instantly cried, ’cause I knew like nothing’s gonna happen. And had I known that I was 1 30, I probably would not have had my membranes tripped because like in that moment, it didn’t mean anything, like, it wasn’t going to help progress my labor, but I mean, can’t take it back.

Gina: Not that it’s about me- I was like pretty frustrated by it. ‘Cause for me, I was like, any chance that Roxanne had to like not have this baby while I was gone?

Roxanne: I know.

Gina: Like for me, I was like, she’s gonna have her baby tomorrow now because you stripped her and she’s passed 40 weeks. And like you knew that there was new information that may have changed her mind, and you still did the sweep instead of like pausing and asking. But it was like… anyways, I was like, I think I was more frustrated in that moment ’cause I was like, yeah, if this could have been the thing that made you go into labor the next day as opposed to like maybe waiting until Tuesday…

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: And I mean, not that I think it caused anything.

Roxanne: No, but like in the moment.

Gina: But in the moment I was just like, oh my, my God. Why did you do that?

Roxanne: If I have my baby, I guess that helped. ‘Cause I, the next day, I did like lose like a huge amount of mucus and I was like, well, hopefully I don’t have a baby today.

Gina: But you didn’t give birth the next day.

Roxanne: But I did not give birth the next day, or the next day. So it was fine.

Gina: Or the next day!

Roxanne: But it was, I was like, man, yeah. So January 7th did not happen. Labor did not go. And I think I knew probably earlier in the day that it wasn’t happening, but I was again, still in denial.

Gina: We were manifesting. I think we both knew it wasn’t happening.

Roxanne: And I think I started, I started stressing, probably around noon when things didn’t shift. I was like, oh no, I need to do something.

Gina: As it was getting later and later.

Roxanne: This baby is not, is not coming out. ‘Cause I didn’t wanna like force it!

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: ‘Cause I like them to come on their own time, but like, come on guys! Could he also come at the same time Gina’s home? That would be really appreciated.

Gina: So I am in Disney hanging out with Mickey Mouse and Roxanne is still very pregnant. I do the half marathon and then I do the full marathon, which was Sunday. And Roxanne does updates the whole morning.

Roxanne: I know, I stayed up! I did fall asleep for a few miles…

Gina: When no one got an update from like mile 10 to 13.

Roxanne: Because I was napping.

Gina: The race does start at like 3:00 AM or something, or 4:30.

Roxanne: Oh my God. I think I also missed like mile 21 to 23 or something. I was like, “Oh gosh!”

Gina: I know. Like, “Did she finish?!”

Roxanne: I woke up to like six text messages. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I have not done any updates!”

Gina: So if you want the marathon recap, I did a whole episode on the Goofy Challenge.

So, Roxanne did updates the whole race and after the race, I think we both were just like, “I’m gonna make it! You’re still pregnant.”

Roxanne: And like nothing was happening that Sunday.

Gina: I’m flying back Monday night. It’s gonna be awesome. In hindsight, I should have just suffered and flew back Sunday night. But I knew how I felt after my last marathon and driving home that night was awful. And so I was like, “Oh my God, I’m just gonna be in so much pain.” And in hindsight, I would have been really uncomfortable ’cause I pretty much like slept most of the day on Sunday and did like my leg compression thing. Like, so I would’ve been pretty miserable, but I would have been miserable for you.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Had I known. So, poor planning, I should have not flown back Monday night. And before we even left, I was like, “Roxanne, I’m gonna change my flight,” ’cause I was supposed to come back Thursday, I think, or Wednesday or something like that. I was gonna come back later to give my kids a full week. But no one else was gonna be there with me, like it was just gonna be Gina fending for herself with her four kids. Which would’ve been fine, like, they’re, they’re all like great travelers. We just wouldn’t have been able to do like, any, like, roller coasters and stuff, we would’ve just focused on shows and characters. So I was like, “Okay, Roxanne, it’s fine. I’m gonna change my flight. I’m gonna come back Monday night so that I have time to recover Sunday and it’ll be fine. It’ll be fine.” And I was like, “But you know, as soon as I change my flight, this dude’s gonna come by Monday morning.” And I also did go into chat GPT, and I was like, “Star chart, you lied. You told us that this baby was gonna be born between the third and the fifth!” And it was like, “Oh! My mistake, the baby’s gonna come on the 10th,” and I was like, “Shut up. It is not coming the 10th. How dare you say that? I’m not gonna be here.”

Roxanne: Yeah, I mean, he didn’t.

Gina: And I was like, “What’s the likelihood of this baby coming on the 12th?” Or whatever, that Tuesday was, I can’t remember what the date was.

Roxanne: The 13th.

Gina: The 13th. It was like, “The 13th has to be the date,” ’cause it was the ChatGPT said Sunday, the day of the marathon was when he was gonna be born.

Roxanne: Oh. But he didn’t come.

Gina: I mean, he came close enough. And I was like, “No, no, no,” and it was like, “She has a 10% chance of going past,” and I was like, “Liar! Get outta here, liar. You already lied.” And I think I told you, and you were like, “Well, it already was wrong, so.”

Roxanne: I don’t trust ChatGPT

Gina: It’ll be fine.

Roxanne: It’ll be fine.

Gina: So yeah, ChatGPT was kind of correct on the second one though because we all went to sleep Sunday night and then…

Roxanne: a baby was born.

Yeah, so Marathon on Sunday- I literally didn’t move as well from, this was Wednesday was prodromal labor all day. And then from the 8th until the 11th, I did not really move around my house, other than my house. Like I think we went on like one family walk.

Gina: Because we did want anything.

Roxanne: But I was like, I’m just gonna lay here. Nobody touch me. Nobody look at me. No joy.

Gina: Keep a high level of stress.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: Like, bright lights.

Roxanne: My daughter was, she was trying to stress me out like, as like jokingly stress me out because she’s like, “He has to, he has to wait until Emo comes back!”

Gina: I did tell her, “Stress your mommy out until I get back. Just lots of crying big emotions.”

Roxanne: Yeah, no, not enough.

So marathon was Sunday. Monday morning, so like after midnight at like 12:30 ish, I texted Gina at like, think at 12:50, ’cause I woke up and I was like, “Did I just pee my… my bed? Did I just pee the bed?” ‘Cause it was like a gush of fluid, and I felt the bed, the bed was dry, it was just all in my underwear, ’cause I went to the bathroom and I was like, “Either my water just broke or I peed myself.” And I have Nitrazine paper ’cause I am a midwife, labor nurse- of course I have Nitrazine paper at my house. This is how you check.

Gina: Can you explain what that is?

Roxanne: Nitrazine paper is how you can check to see if your water is broken, ’cause it would change the pH. It’s like pH paper. So nitrazine paper would change colors if it is amniotic fluid versus if it’s like any other fluid, like pee.

So I did that, and it did not change. The color normally would change, so I was like, “Oh, I must have just peed myself, which is also great, I guess.” But, and I didn’t smell like what I would typically describe as amniotic fluid, but it also didn’t smell entirely like pee. But I was like, well, we’ll see. I do think in hindsight that- our amniotic sac has two layers, the amnion and the corion- and I think that it was the outer sac might’ve ruptured, and so like a little bit of fluid did come out. ‘Cause when we looked at my placenta afterwards, it did almost look like it was in two pieces, like two layers had like separated, which I thought was pretty cool when I looked at it. But that is my theory, in hindsight, but in the moment, I was like, “Oh, I just peed myself. Fingers crossed.” But I did text Gina at 12:50, “I either just peed myself or my water broke. Ha ha”

Gina: And Gina was sleeping.

Roxanne: Cause you have to add “ha ha” to every text.

Gina: Gina did not read the message.

Roxanne: Gina did not see these messages.

But then I went back to like, I laid back in bed, changed my underwear, I laid back in bed and it was fine. And then like as soon as I laid in bed, I think it was maybe like 20 minutes later, I had a contraction and I was like, “Huh. That didn’t feel great.”

And then another one came like five minutes later. And then they just kept coming. And they like came fast, five to seven minutes apart, as soon as they started at 1:20, they were five to seven minutes apart for like 30 minutes. And I was like, “Huh, that’s not, that’s not great. But you know, I’ve been having prodromal labor for like freaking forever. They’re gonna go away.” This is just (prodromal) labor. But I did text both Gina and our friend Brittany, who is going to be by back up doula and birth photographer, “I’ve been contracting for the past 30 minutes, they’re five to seven minutes apart, pretty strong, but I can still like breathe and talk through them.” And then I think I also texted Gina, “I don’t think you’re going to make it to the birth,” at like, I don’t even remember what time.

Gina: I don’t remember. I was still asleep.

Roxanne: Gina was asleep, passed out. I sent seven text messages to her and she…

Gina: I had been waking up, was not at like 2:00 or 3:00 AM, two days in a row prior to this for the races. And so I was just like dead.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: I was not waking up to anything, unfortunately. I’m so sad that I did not have my phone on noise.

Roxanne: Yeah. At 2:12 I texted Gina, “I don’t think you’re gonna make it. They’re not stopping.” At this point, this is also, I was in my bed, my husband and I were in our bed, and our two youngest kids always, which they always do, had crawled into our bed at some point. So I was like, this is not a comfortable place, even if I’m not in labor, to be anymore ’cause I’m being kicked by my 2-year-old. So I moved to my son’s bed, and he had like, he has these pads on his bed, just in case he pees, so I was like, “Okay, well, you know, my water breaks at least I’m on this pad, so it still works out.”

So I slept, or I “slept,” quote unquote, in the bed for like 30 minutes, contemplating should I call my midwife. Because this has now been an hour that they’ve been consistently five to seven minutes apart, when I would get up and walk around, they would increase to like two to three minutes apart. Yet, I was needing to like, focus on them, but like I could, I don’t know if it’s just my personality, but like I can easily distract myself by just like talking or not needing to do things still in that early, or even into early active labor with contractions is what I’ve learned. But I was like, I also don’t wanna call, ’cause this is now like the third time, third or fourth time that I’ve texted her and was like, “I think I’m having a contraction,” and then it goes nowhere. And I was like, I don’t wanna wake her up at 2:30 in the freaking morning and then nothing happens. So I sat there for like 30 minutes, and I was like, they’re not getting better, but they’re not terrible yet, but she also still has an hour drive to my house. And then this is also when I expedia.com flights from Orlando to Raleigh to be like, is there a middle of the night flight that I could call Gina to tell her to take immediately and her husband can take care of her children, for her to come back now? No. The earliest flight on Expedia was at 5:00 AM and it would have her arriving at seven. And I was like, but surely this is not real labor.

Gina: I could have made it Roxanne.

Roxanne: No, no, you wouldn’t have made it. You still wouldn’t have made it. And I think that that also made me feel better than that.

Gina: Maybe if you knew I was almost, almost there, you would’ve held off.

I think the only thing that I could have done is if you called me at midnight and was like, “I think my water just broke,” the only thing that I could have done to have made it would’ve been to immediately find a rental car and drive. Or steal a car!

Roxanne: You would not have made it though.

Gina: I could have took a Lyft.

Roxanne: You still wouldn’t have made it.

Gina: Well, so,

Roxanne: It’s like nine hours.

Gina: If you knew that I was almost there, you maybe would have…

Roxanne: Maybe. Maybe.

Gina: Maybe. I don’t know. Probably not. I would’ve still missed it.

Roxanne: Harvey had a lot of, a lot of say in this birth!

Gina: That’s the only thing that I could have thought of was like if I jumped in a car right away.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: I could have maybe…. probably not. I would’ve been pissed. I would’ve been like in Savannah, and you’re like, “My baby’s born!” I’m like, “Turn this bitch around.”

Roxanne: Yeah, I know.

Yeah, so for 30 minutes I contemplated calling my midwife, expedia.com and looking up every airline to see if there’s any possible way. I was even like, man. If only someone had a private jet could just fly Gina to Moore County Airport.

Gina: I mean, we probably could have put a blast out to Instagram and somebody might have had one.

Roxanne: But yeah, then this 30 minutes of like not reasonable like decision making, like not in my full cognitive function of like, what, spiraling about being in early active labor by myself without my sister. I was like, “Oh no. Oh no.” But then I also didn’t wanna wake Gina up at 2:30 in the morning to be like, “I might be in labor,” then I pass out. Sorry everybody, for the panic! But you know, spoiler alert, I should have done that. Hindsight is 20/20.

Gina: I’ll forgive you one day.

Roxanne: But I did finally call my midwife after those 30 minutes and was like, “I think I’m in labor. I have been contracting for now an hour and a half, five to seven minutes. They get as close to two to three minutes.” And then I think I had one on the phone, and she like had asked me a question right before and I was like, “Hold on, I cannot answer that ’cause I don’t know what you just said.” And she’s like, “Did you just have one?” I was like, “Yeah.” And she’s like,

“Okay, well what do you do? You want us to come now or do you want to like give it a little bit at a time?” And I was like, “I don’t think you should come now.” And she said, “Okay, well call me back in an hour or sooner and we can make a game plan then.” And I was like, “Okay.” And so she’s like, she just waited by the phone, and I went into our bedroom and tried to wake up my husband, who was like the heaviest sleeper possible- it’s a poor survival coping mechanism, we need to work on it. He did not wake up. I was shaking him so hard, I should have slapped him.

But then I moved our two kids to my son’s bed, and then I think I texted my mom and was like, “I’m having contractions,” and then like 20 minutes later she responded, “How far apart?” And I was like, “Five to seven minutes,” she’s like, “I’m on my way.” But we had like this deadbolt that my husband, oh my god, installed on our door that like, you will never break into my home.

Gina: Well, good news ’cause he is passed out. He is a deep sleeper. He ain’t gonna respond in no burglary.

Roxanne: Exactly. That’s why he installed it. But then my mom was trying to get into our house as I have shifted. I was like, “I cannot walk to that door. I need you to go let my mom in right now because I am not moving from this position that I’ve like acquired.” ‘Cause during the texting, I was still like in between contractions, but of course my mom got there like in the middle of one. So he went.

I still had my TENS unit on. I had put it on like as soon as I started feeling contractions. And then, at this point I’m in the bed in like puppy pose ’cause it was the only position that felt nice on my back. And he goes, let’s my mom in, and she comes and starts giving me her fabulous Mama Kim massages. They’re just like super firm and she just like knows where on your body to massage. So she’s like giving my back a massage.

Gina: As she is like, “It’s not easy being a mother.”

Roxanne: I know. She just, she’s just so encouraging with her, her words.

Gina: Her mantras.

Roxanne: “It’s hard, it’s so hard to have a baby!” Mom!

Gina: “We do so much to sacrifice.”

Roxanne: So then I was there for like another 30 minutes with my mom and my husband helping me through the contractions. And then my mom was like, “Did you call your midwife?” I was like, “I’m gonna call her now.” Because I think shortly before my mom had got there- I had never had this urge really, with any of my other births, like with contractions- but like I had the strong urge that I needed to vocalize with contractions. Like, I’ve never needed to do that really with my other ones, like, just breathing was fine, but this one I was just like, “Oh!” I like, that was, that was the only way I could make it through the contractions.

Gina: Well, because you were progressing fast!

Roxanne: Instinctive need to vocalize, and I was like, oh, that’s new. I have not needed to do that before. So I did call Rose and was like, “Yes, please come.”

Gina: Please come.

Roxanne: Please come. And she said, okay, we’ll see you soon. And then I also called Brittany, which was hilarious to call Brittany because I was like, “Hi Brittany, I’m in labor. I need you to come.” And she goes, “Oh no, Gina doesn’t come back yet. Gina’s not here!” ‘Cause she knew that’s exactly what I thought as well. And I was like, “No, she does not get here till tonight. I don’t think she’s going to make it.” And she’s like, “Oh no. Okay, I’ll be there soon.” I’m like, “Okay, thank you.”

So this was like 3:00, I don’t know, like 3:45 in the morning, that I called everybody. So at this point I then get up out of bed ’cause I was like, oh, I need to pee and like probably eat something. ‘Cause again, I didn’t, I’ve never had like a super quick labor. I think Colin was my quickest, and that one was from like start to finish, like 11 hours. But I had like a slow ramp up with him for like, the first five hours wasn’t bad, but then like the next six was fairly quick ish, like quicker. But then, so I was like, ah, I should probably eat something. So I got up, walked around a little bit, ate a banana, and drank some like coconut water. I did start to have more, like the pain in my like lower abdomen was stronger, so I had my TENS unit on my back. I had gotten into the shower after I had my banana and that helped a lot. My husband like poured the water on my back has like let the water hit the front part of my belly. But then when I got out, I didn’t put the TENS unit back on because I put the heating pad on. And at first we had the pixie cup, like abdomen heater, but I could not figure out how to turn it on and I had been trying to figure it out for like weeks now. You just had to hold the power button down. I just kept like pressing it and I was like, why is this never getting hot? I don’t understand. And then like in the moment of labor, I finally figured it out, but this was after like probably like 30 minutes of trying. So I had just tied a heating blanket with a rebozo scarf to my lower belly while I was trying to figure out this heating pad, as Brittany was watching me, wondering what the hell I was doing, because she’s like, “What even is that thing you’re playing with?” And then I figured out, I was like, “Oh, what if I just hold it down?” And then it finally clicked. I was like, “Had Gina been here, she would just know how to do this, but I don’t know how to turn this stupid thing on!” So then I switched to that thing and then Brittany was like, “Oh, I could’ve totally helped you with that. I didn’t know what that was,” and that thing was a lot nicer than the big wrap that I had used because it was way less fabric, and it also got way hotter.

Gina: And also like contours to the belly.

Roxanne: Yeah. Which, I mean, the other thing did, but like it still like hung off a little bit.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: And, it was like a larger surface area when I really just needed it on the lower belly. But it did get a lot hotter, so I did have to take it off. Like I did take it off at one point and then put it back on once my belly cooled down. So did really like it.

Gina: There is a way to adjust the heat setting.

Roxanne: There is, but again, you weren’t there.

Gina: You just learn how to turn it on, so.

Roxanne: I just, yeah, didn’t, didn’t have a lot of time to play with it. And I did like it ’cause I could have turned it towards my back if I wanted to and it would’ve still been comfortable. And at one point I was like, oh, maybe I’ll turn it to my back, but then I was like, why don’t I just get in the shower at this point? So I used that for a while, leaning over the birth ball.

At some point Joan woke up during this. Brittany arrived at the house at like 4:15 ish and I think Joan woke up a little bit after that, and she was so sweet. Patrick was trying to get her to go back to sleep, but she was like, “Nah, I’m awake.” She went to bed at like 5:30 the night before ’cause she was so exhausted, so I was like, well you know, it’s fine. She’s totally fine. She wasn’t like bothering me in any sort of way. She actually like was so sweet, ’cause I was obviously like vocalizing with the contraction, so she would come over and gimme a hug. She gave me water at one point, but like out of her sippy cup, that is like so hard to drink from because they’re like so suctioned so you don’t spill it everywhere. I was like, “Thank you. That’s so sweet.” She was like, giving me a hugs and stuff. But I think the midwife, my midwife and her birth assistant, arrived probably like 5:20, 5:30 in the morning, and that’s when my mom just called my dad to come pick Joan up, ’cause my parents live three doors down from us, so he just walked up the street, grabbed Joan and took her to his house thinking that it’d be a couple of hours. So he’s like, “Yeah, we just, we were just hanging out and she just opened an ice cream,” so she was just having a great time at my parents’ house at that point. Which again, she would’ve been fine, like at the birth, I think, but my husband just preferred her to not be there so he could focus.

So 5:30, they arrived and at this point I had used like my TENS unit, the heating pad, and I was using my acupuncture balls and still like able to talk in between contractions. But during them, still needing to vocalize during the contractions to kind of like get through them. They like listened to baby, did my vital signs, everything looked great. So we like talked a little bit and then I was like, I think I wanna get into the shower. Because I think we were, we had just filled up the tub, so they were gonna like heat the water up a little bit, ’cause my water heater is not great for tubs- it doesn’t get very hot, it’s like a lukewarm bath, like, not even body temperature bath, like, not comfortable. So we needed to heat the water up, so I was like, I’ll just get into the shower while that does that stuff. Shower was great. My husband again held the water on my lower belly as I did the water on my back, needing to like, lean over more during the contractions, moving, you know, doing the labor thing.

I think he, we lit all the candles finally at this point, ’cause I had forgot to do all those things. And then, I also realized while I was in the shower that I was still wearing my bracelet from my mother’s blessing, and I was like, “No one will know to cut it. I will have no vibes!” My mom’s had fallen off at one point. This was also my third rendition of the bracelet, ’cause mine also fell off like during the weeks.

Gina: That’s why, Roxanne!

Roxanne: So.

Gina: Mine had fallen off like three times too, but I’d just keep tying it back.

Roxanne: Yeah. It was not good string that we used for that one. But, normally, like, we would text the group, and be like, “Oh, they’re in labor! Let’s cut our bracelets!” No, that was not happening for me. I was not texting anyone. So when we, when I got out of the shower, when the tub was warmed up, I got into the tub. This was like around 6:00 AM, so from the time of arrival from my midwives to the time that I got into the tub was like 30 minutes. And then while I was in the tub is when I was like, “Oh, yep, I’m gonna cut my bracelet.” So like, my husband found scissors and cut my bracelet at some point while I was in the tub. And I just like moved into different positions while I was in the tub. I did really enjoy- it’s my number one recommendation, but like no one wants to do it other than like me in labor that I’m noticing, until I like recommend it to people who seem like they want to do it but don’t how to do it is- the mermaid pose, where you put your feet out behind you and you literally look like a little mermaid.

Gina: Your belly’s down towards the bottom of the pool.

Roxanne: Yeah. So it’s like your belly is face down. Usually the arms are leaning over the pool, I couldn’t do that ’cause my pool is deflating so I just held myself up. And it’s almost like upward facing dog, but then your feet kick up behind.

Gina: Yeah. So it’s like a big hip flexor, front body stretch.

Roxanne: It’s kind of, what is that? It’s mermaid in the yoga pose, but you’re not trying to touch your head to your toes.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: I think, I don’t know.

Roxanne: I don’t know if that’s mermaid pose. I might have made that up, but whatever, you look like a mermaid.

Gina: It’s camel. It’s more like camel.

Roxanne: Yeah, camel, but you’re not reaching back to grab your feet.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: Yeah. But that general position. But then, instead of doing it on both legs, after I did that for a few contractions, I then brought my foot, and it was almost like pigeon then in a way, but one foot was back in like a half mermaid and the front leg was forward in like a lunge slash pigeon type thing. And that was super comfortable. And I did that on both sides. And I was like, asymmetry, love it. But when I recommended it to people, they’re like, “Oh, this does feel really nice. Yeah, but I would not have gone into this without your recommendation.” I’m like, maybe it’s just me.

Gina: Well, I don’t think it’s a labor position that people are like aware of.

Roxanne: Yeah. But it was really comfortable. Brittany took a picture of it and I was like, “Good,” in my head. ’cause I didn’t, I stopped talking at some point. I think I was still talking, but like with my eyes closed, I was like present but not really present. I don’t remember saying things from like 5:30 on, ’cause my eyes were closed. And even in like the pictures that I look at, all of the pictures, my eyes are just closed.

Gina: Pretty standard.

Roxanne: ‘Cause that’s what happens in active labor. But I was like, there’s, there’s no way. Like I still have so much time, like there’s no way labor is close. Like baby still has so much time. Like I could potentially still be here when Gina gets here tomorrow at 1:00 AM. No. But then in my mind I was also like, “Also, fuck that, that’s like a really long time to be in labor. Sorry Gina, you’re gonna miss it.” But, so this is like 6:00 AM I’m in the tub. I think around like 6:40- ’cause it’s, you know, nothing exciting happens, we drink water while I was in the tub, changed positions. Some people, well, I made some comments, I think I was like, “Oh, I’m feeling it more in my butt, and like everyone was like, “Oh!” My husband was just like, “What?” I did remember like, one of the things that I was really not wanting, ’cause I remember it from Joan’s birth, was like everyone just staring at like my butt hole. I was like, I don’t, I, I don’t want my butt hole out to the world. So I was like, “I love all of you people and I trust everyone here, but like, I don’t want everyone staring at my butt hole.” And so at one point when I was in the tub, like you could see my butt and they were like, “Do you want us to cover your butt?” I was like, “No, my butt is fine. The butt hole. Please don’t.”

Gina: My starfish.

Roxanne: Don’t look at the starfish, okay? I don’t want the starfish out.

Gina: Don’t want any pictures of my starfish.

Roxanne: The cheek are fine. So we laughed, we chuckled at that.

But then I think it was like 6:45 maybe or 6:50, someone, like, Heather had checked the temperature of the water and it was like 98, 99 degrees, which we want the water to be above 98 99 or like, no less than 98 to 99 degrees, ’cause the baby has to come out into warm water so they still think that they’re in the womb when they come out. So anything below that potentially could like, potentially signal for them to breathe while they’re still underwater. So they’re like, “Okay, well if we’re gonna be in here for any longer, like we should probably think about rewarming the water.” And in that moment I was like, “Yeah, I can get out, and we can warm up the water, I can like walk around, like if we need to warm up the tub, like I’ll just get out,” in this moment. And it might’ve been a little bit earlier that this happened, whatever, time is made up. But I, in that moment I was like, “Yeah, I could totally get out of this tub and like walk around.”

And then it was like two minutes later, my mom was asleep on the couch because again, we don’t have quick labor, so she’s like, “I have time to nap.” She was asleep on the couch, so it was just my husband, Brittany, and the midwife, and her assistant, and I was like, “Patrick,” my husband, “I need you to go get my mom to massage my hips,” and he goes, “Oh, okay.” So she came in, massaged my hips, he went to go wake up our oldest, and during the next contraction, when my mom was massaging my hips, I was starting to feel more pressure like, oh, this baby’s like gonna come out, but I had no one to hold my hand. Because like, my husband doesn’t necessarily always provide hip squeezes or massage my back during my labors, all I really want him to do is to hold my hand, and like have something to like hold onto- to help keep me grounded, probably. And then he had left, so like, I was like, “Who the fuck’s gonna hold my hand?” So in that moment my mom’s massaging my hips and I opened my eyes ’cause I was like, “Where is Patrick?” ’cause I needed to reach for his hand, and she’s like, “Oh, he’s not, he’s not here.” And I was like, “Fuck!” So I had nothing to grab onto, so I just was like reaching for air, cause I couldn’t grab onto the top of the pool ’cause I was like, “I’m going burst this pool!” So that, I just struggled through that one, ’cause I was like, I don’t know what to do.

At one point, it must have been after that contraction, I reached and checked myself, to see if like this is all in my head.

Gina: Were you one centimeter?

Roxanne: Or if there was like a baby coming. And I checked and I did feel like the bag starting to like bulge. It wasn’t like a crazy, like there’s only so much you could check when you’re checking yourself, but I was like, okay, I feel a bag and a baby’s head behind it. So, one, it was a head, so, great. Not a butt! And I was like, okay, this is probably happening right now and I’m not mentally ready.

So I asked, I was like, “Gina’s not gonna make it ’cause like I’m about to push a baby out. I’m not mentally ready. Could someone call Gina?” And I think I, my daughter must have like, came in at this point and came and like sat by the pool, the head of the pool, and the midwife obviously had Gina’s number from the last fake labor- not fake labor, but fake out- and tried calling her. I don’t remember how many times she called, but the first time she did not answer. And I was like, “Bitch.”

Gina: Yeah I was asleep.

Roxanne: Seven AM, Man! Wake up!

Gina: I was passed out.

Roxanne: And in that moment when she didn’t answer, in my head I was like, maybe we should call her husband. But again, I’m like about to like push a baby out, I’m not saying my inside thoughts on the outside, like I should have. But then I also cried a quick tear ‘ cause I was like, “She’s not gonna be here. Even virtually.”

Gina: The worst.

Roxanne: The worst.

Gina: Just out here having a good old dream.

Roxanne: Gina’s just over here recovering from a half marathon, marathon combo. I know, Harvey!

Gina: How could she?

Roxanne: How could she, how could she?

So then, so that’s like 6:59. I was like, okay, I guess I have to have a baby without her. Water broke like a couple minutes later, very quickly, they listened to his heartbeat, sounded great, and then was like, “Ugh, now I have to push a baby out?” I know!

Gina: That’s how we feel about it, too!

Roxanne: That’s how I felt. Which is like, I think I was most nervous prior to the water breaking ’cause I was like, “God, if I have to fucking push for 45 minutes, I’m gonna be so pissed.” Like with Joan, like it was so long, so long, I didn’t wanna push that long again. So I like needed to like mentally prepare. Like my body was like kind of pushing, but I was like, I’m not ready to like, to really do it. I don’t wanna do this for forty-five minutes!

But then my water broke and I could feel- with Colin, it was the same- where like I felt my water broke and then I felt like the head come down. Whereas with Joan, like I felt, one, my water didn’t break probably until like 20 minutes into pushing, whereas this was like two minutes into pushing the water broke, not even probably, I wasn’t even probably bearing down very hard. Water broke and then instantly felt his head like settle in and also could feel it.

And within one push his head was like at the opening, not crowning yet, but like right there.

Gina: Probably what I would’ve considered a crowning,

Roxanne: What Gina would’ve considered crowning, which is like two centimeters of the head. And like, I needed a second because like crowning is always the worst part for me. Like, it burns so bad for me. And I was like, “I don’t, I don’t, I’m not ready for this!” So I pushed, and then until I felt his head, I was like, “Okay, I’m done. I’m done with that one!”

Gina: “I would like to opt out.”

Roxanne: But then, so I pushed him to the crown and then, till his head came out. But I was doing, I was pushing in a kneeling position. I had started out in hands and knees when my water broke, and then I stood up, I think, and like, was like leaning backwards in like a kneeling position, with my husband kind of supporting me. But then once his head came out, I was like, this isn’t very relaxing and might be weird to like, push the body out with, and I was like, “I’m not very comfortable like this.” And so then my midwife helped me like kind of like sit back and like bring my feet out from under me, which made like the body portion a little bit more comfortable. And then I didn’t have to move after his body came out, and he was born because I was already there.

But, head came out, and it was like not immediate that once his head came out, the shoulders came out, he did like take a little second to like turn, rotate until the next contraction came. And then his body came on out, pulled him up to my chest and he was so cute. And my daughter was there- she does remind me every day that, “I was supposed to catch the baby,” and, “You didn’t let me catch Harvey,” and I’m like, “I’m so sorry, it was a very awkward moment.” But he came out and I cried, again, because Gina wasn’t there, and also ’cause he was so freaking adorable.

Gina: The worst.

Roxanne: I did it! And he was amazing! And I didn’t have to push for 45 minutes!

And then I immediately, I, in the video I have, I immediately go, as I’m looking at him and wiping his face, waiting for him to cry, “Oh my God, that sucked so much!” Because my vagina was on fire. Because I have, I hate the burning sensation, I do. I still remember, it still sticks with me. And my butt, it was all in my butt. And I was like, why does it always feel like the baby came outta your butt hole?

Gina: Super rude!

Roxanne: Pressure back there. Yeah. And then he came out and he looked like the perfect mixture of all of my three children. He did take a second to cry, but I didn’t care, ’cause I was in my moment, it felt like two seconds, but it was like 45. But he came around and he was like grimacing, which is very normal for water babies, for them to take a little bit longer to come around, to like cry. He was like grimacing doing all the good things. Lily came over and was like patting him and touching his face and she was so excited. She did tell me, or told Gina afterwards, that she was a little scared that something was happening to her mom. She’s like, “You were making a lot of weird sounds, sort of.”

Gina: Yeah, I asked her, I’m like, “How did you, how did you feel during it? Like, was it like, were you excited? Was it confusing?” And she was like, “I was scared. She was making some weird noises.” And I was like, “Roxanne, you should talk to her about that.”

Roxanne: Well, ’cause I asked her afterwards, I was like, “How are you? How was the, the birth?” and she’s like, “It was so cool…”

Gina: Yeah, no, girl’s over here all wide-eyed!

Roxanne: She did ask me, ’cause I did have like, my bloody show was underneath me in the tub, and after she’s like, “There was like red stuff in the tub. What was that?” And I was like, “Whatcha talking about? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” So then we watched the video, she pointed it out, I was like, oh yeah, “That’s just like a little bit of blood, like it’s normal to have that when you have babies.” And she goes, “Oh, okay. So that was okay?” And I was like, “Yeah!” Probably over here thinking I’m dying. I’m so sorry.

Gina: It’s better than my last birth where there’s a picture of me like roaring and Sophie, terrified.

Roxanne: Oh, I know.

Gina: And like scared that I was hurt. Yeah, I was hurt!

Roxanne: Yeah. But we had asked my son, prior to, if he wanted to be there when his brother was born and he said, no. He’s like, “I’ll come after.” So, we were like, okay. So we did not wake Colin up, we woke Lily up and they like both popped right up though. Like Lily popped right up, my husband said, and she’s like, “Harvey’s coming?!” Ran into the room ready. Her hair was still disheveled in the photos ’cause she had literally just woke up. And then when my husband woke Colin up to be like, “Harvey’s here!” And he ran into the, like he also popped up, ran into the room like he could, like you could clearly see he just woke up in the photos, but he’s so happy that his brother is finally here. And I think that was probably my favorite moment of home birth was like them two, and even like my younger one, meeting them like so soon after, while I’m still in like immediate birth bliss with my oxytocin high. It was, that just added to the oxytocin high. I don’t think I have even like delivered the placenta at this point when Colin came in and we’re just like loving on him, and petting him.

I did get Pitocin before the placenta came out because I do obviously bleed a lot, normally. So I got the Pitocin shortly after he was born, but then my placenta still didn’t come, like I could feel it there, like my butt was more uncomfortable and I was like, oh, like it needs to come out, but like, wasn’t. So Rose tried to tug on it while I pushed and like just couldn’t get a good grip on it. So then I actually delivered my own placenta partially, so I tugged on it while I pushed and it like came out and then Rose put it in the little bucket. And then at that point, Joan came in to like meet her baby brother. My dad was like, “We had just opened an ice cream, she was mid ice cream, Mickey Mouse ice cream.”

Gina: Throw that out!

Roxanne: “We had to quickly abort ice cream and run down the street.” But she was also so excited when she saw him. She’s like, “That’s my baby brother!” She also says Harvey with a very thick accent, “Hah-vey”. But she was super, super excited.

And then at this moment is when we got out of the tub, finally. So I was in the tub for like 14 minutes after birth. So some people think you have to get out immediately and you don’t have to, you can take your time. That’s a lot to get out of the tub after pushing a baby out. And then we were there for, like, my midwife and birth photographer were there for like two more hours and then they left us to just bond and wait for Gina to arrive.

Gina: Well, I had the best day ever.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: In the Disney world.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: I got myself a premium pass so I can go on every ride… to wallow in my sorrows.

Roxanne: I know.

Gina: And I was like, when I woke up, because Mom had called me at like 8:00 and I was like, I had just woken up and was like processing like what was happening.

Roxanne: I know.

Gina: And I was like, “I think I just… I think Roxanne had her baby.” And then my mom’s like, hysterical, and I’m like, “Please stop. What is happening?” She’s like, “You didn’t see the text messages?” “No, I didn’t see the text messages! I just woke up!” “Why are you still sleeping?” “What do you mean?!”

Roxanne: Gina normally wakes up at like 7:00 AM.

Gina: I normally do, when I haven’t woken up at 2:00 AM the past two days. So I was a little sleepy. My huge regrets, obviously. I wish I put my phone on noise.

Roxanne: I know.

Gina: I think I had just like convinced myself that you were gonna wait until Tuesday. Like I was like, oh, we made it through the marathon.

Roxanne: Me too. Yeah.

Gina: We’re good. We’re gonna have a great last day, we’re gonna fly home and Roxanne’s gonna wake up in labor on Tuesday and it’s gonna be perfect. We’ve manifested this. And so when I woke up and I was like, “Oh, what the fuck?” I like looked at all my children and I was like, “We must have the best day ever.” And we had a great time. I would’ve liked to be there, but, we got to ride all the rides in Epcot and had fun at the Magic Kingdom and then had a pretty smooth flight home. And I immediately ran over and said hello to Harvey.

Roxanne: Well, the next morning.

Gina: The next morning, yeah. ‘Cause I got back at like, I think like 1:00 AM.

Roxanne: I mean, I was awake at 1:00 AM, but my entire family was not.

Gina: When I texted you, you did not reply to me. But, so I just tried to make it up to Roxanne in the postpartum and we’ve done like 15 puzzles and…

Roxanne: And she also went to Disney World.

Gina: I brought you a gift back.

Roxanne: It’s fine. I was very supported in the postpartum. I had lots of delicious coffee and puzzles done every day. And this, this little man has been this showered in love from his cousins and siblings. Every single person except for like, obviously your youngest is Zoe, Zoe don’t care about anybody.

Gina: Zoe. She is not concerned at all.

Roxanne: Eoghan doesn’t really…

Gina: Sophie and Joan are like…

Roxanne: Eoghan, not about it at all either.

Gina: He doesn’t care, no.

Roxanne: Even though like this is his boy cousin.

Gina: Sophie and Joan, though.

Roxanne: This is the closest thing you’re gonna get to a brother, man.

Gina: They’re all about their baby Harvey.

Roxanne: Yes. They fight over him.

Gina: Then Adeline and Lily are also super into him. I would say of them all, though, Joan and Sophie are like the most..

Roxanne: Obsessed.

Gina: Interested.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: In him.

Roxanne: Sophie will hold him for like a couple seconds and then she’d be like, okay, I’m all done now. Adeline will like, actually, if she could just rip him out of my arms to hold him.

Gina: She would babysit him for you.

Roxanne: She would just hold him all day if I let her. And I’m like, “But he’s actually hungry, so please give him me.”

Gina: She, she was really sad to miss the birth ’cause she’s like, I think this will be the last birth I get to like, witness before like either mine or my sisters’.

Roxanne: I mean, she could come with me to births one day if she wants to.

Gina: If she wants, she wants.

Roxanne: But yeah, would’ve liked her to be there as well.

Gina: Yeah, I know she, because she was like, “I wanna be there so I can help Lily know what to do. I can guide Lily to, to help her Mommy.”

Roxanne: Yeah. Maybe Lily wouldn’t have been so scared.

Gina: Yeah. Adeline would’ve been like, “This is normal. My mom was louder.”

Roxanne: Yeah, yeah. I did say… so, I did say fuck a lot, which is like my like coping word. and Lily afterwards was like, “Mom, you said a lot of bad words. You were saying a lot of bad words.” And I was like, “Yeah, Lily, it’s not pain-free having a baby. So that is what mommy says when I’m in pain. And she goes, “Okay, so you can say it when you’re in pain?” I’m like, “No, not you.”

Gina: Not you, not you. Well, I couldn’t have asked for a smoother birth for you with no complications postpartum, and smoother postpartum. So if that means that I had to miss the birth, I’m okay with that.

Roxanne: Yeah.

Gina: That’s what I’m gonna tell myself. I had to miss it so that you didn’t have to hemorrhage. I am the problem, actually.

Roxanne: A precipitous labor, with no hemorrhage, and that’s because Gina wasn’t there.

Gina: Just because I wasn’t. That’s what we’re gonna tell ourselves. That’s what we’re gonna tell us.

Roxanne: No, but I was, was…

Gina: It doesn’t have to be a lesson that we needed to learn.

Roxanne: I was obviously devastated that Gina could not be there. I feel like I thought about it multiple times while I was in labor. Obviously it didn’t affect my labor.

Gina: It did not affect me at, ’cause I was asleep, apparently.

Roxanne: It didn’t affect my labor progress in any sort of way.

Gina: I feel like I did have a really chaotic dream that night.

Roxanne: Well.

Gina: Harvey!

Roxanne: You should have woken up from your chaotic dream.

Gina: We got beef, Bro. We got some beef.

Roxanne: He smiled. He smiled! But yeah, obviously would have loved Gina to be there, but it was still a great birth experience. It was very quick, which is what I wanted. And I didn’t push for very long, which was also what I wanted. I didn’t tear, I did not hemorrhage.

Gina: You got your entire Christmas list.

Roxanne: I actually bled like less than I did in any birth that I had. When I went to the bathroom, I did not pass out, which I also did with my first and almost second, not my third. No, I did, I did after my third. So I didn’t pass out, which was also a new experience. So like this whole experience was just a bunch of like personal bests. Longest pregnancy, quickest labor.

Gina: Easiest postpartum.

Roxanne: No hemorrhage and no passing out after going to the bathroom for the first time.

Gina: Good job, Roxanne.

Roxanne: Yeah, he was not my biggest baby, thankfully. So I’m okay with that, 7lb 13oz, which is like he could have picked the 13th to also be born, but we’re like.

Gina: We won’t hold it against him.

Roxanne: We won’t hold it against him because he is super cute.

Gina: Well, we will do another episode all about Roxanne’s postpartum recovery and what she’s been doing to help support herself this first month- we just don’t want this to be like a two hour long episode. Hopefully those of you that are listening would want to listen to a two hour long episode, but we’re gonna split it up so that we can have two weeks of episodes.

But before we end this episode, Roxanne, can you share what your favorite pregnancy and labor items were? You kind of mentioned it throughout the episode, but we don’t have any sponsors for our podcast anymore, so we’re gonna be telling you our favorite products and then listing our affiliate links down below. So Roxanne, what were your favorite kind of like end of pregnancy labor support items that you would recommend to our listeners?

Roxanne: So, end of pregnancy items that I really enjoyed were, my love steady belly band. It’s a pro bump or bump pro?

Gina: Pro bump.

Roxanne: Pro bump band. That thing, I have a big belly. I, my abs must just be very weak. I carry my bellies forward, I don’t know, but it was game changer at, I think I started using it in my third trimester pretty routinely. And it did help with my pubic bone pain, but it just made me, like my belly, just felt…

Gina: It’s a sports bra for your belly.

Roxanne: It just made my belly feel less, yes, heavy.

Gina: And we have a postpartum recovery bundle with Love Steady as well that has like a few fun items in it we personally really like postpartum and our discount code is MAMASTEFIT for 10% off anything at Love Steady.

Roxanne: Yeah, so that thing was great end of pregnancy. I used my pregnancy pillow, we don’t have a link for them, but this pregnancy pillow, it’s like the brand is PFL UL or something. I don’t know Pple, but ppl, it’s a cooling pregnancy pillow, so it’s like cool to the touch. So if you get really hot, it was really nice. But I’ve been loving that one for end of pregnancy, for sleeping support, along with like, I don’t know, this wedge thing that I got, I don’t remember where I got it from on Amazon. And then postpartum, it’s been a game changer because the pregnancy pillow actually folded under and become like a, like a like reclining chair support for postpartum, which, yeah, pretty clutch.

Gina: You can’t beat that.

Roxanne: So like it’s for pregnancy and postpartum, so it’s a twofer.

Gina: My kids use my pregnancy pillow now as their sleeping nests in their bed ’cause they like to snuggle and so they snuggle in a pregnancy pillow.

Roxanne: Yeah, those are probably the two things end a pregnancy other than like LMNT, obviously. Love our, we love our lMNT electrolytes. LMNT.

Gina: You get a free sample pack of LMNT from the link below. You have to use our link for us to get credit though. So if you want to try out some salty electrolytes, highly recommend them. They also have sparkling that you can grab now. We like the skinny cans, the lemonade flavors are and the pineapple current. The pineapple lime is also very, very tasty.

Roxanne: But yeah, so during labor, my top three labor comfort supports that I utilized, number one, the pixie heating pad.

Gina: That is pretty good. Our code for them is MAMASTEFIT also for 15% off. I use all of their period products as well, like their period cup, the sterilizer. She’s using the period underwear postpartum, which has been super nice. So highly recommend. And they have a really amazing mission too, where I think every cup that someone buys, they donate one to girls in need, which is, I think they’ve donated like over 300,000 cups, which is super cool.

Roxanne: Yeah, which, super great.

So heating pad, they also have like a microwave option one that has like a scent that was also really nice. my TENS unit that I used. So I used the L TENS II, but like any TENS unit really. I mean I used it also end a pregnancy. I forgot, prodromal labor, but also during labor my definitely top three. And then the other one was my acupressure balls. I really liked that.

Gina: Which you got on Amazon?

Roxanne: I got on Amazon, they’re $9. The little, they were like the perfect size. Apparently you could also get a bigger size, but I liked the small size ’cause they fit in my hands. They were like, just like spiky enough for distraction, and then I also liked rubbing them on my legs and on my back.

Gina: Did you try a massage gun during labor?

Roxanne: Not during labor, labor. I did use the thera gun and the face massager during that prodromal labor when my back labor was actually pretty bad and I would recommend that, but I didn’t use it during labor labor, just the labor.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: The prodromal labor. So I can’t say top three ’cause I didn’t really use it.

Gina: Yeah.

Roxanne: But it would’ve been really nice on back labor.

Gina: So if you would like to support our podcast and you’re interested in items to help support you during pregnancy and postpartum, we’ll link them down below. Really, if you just put in code MAMASTEFIT, it probably will give you some sort of discount.

Roxanne: Yeah. Or, MAMASTE.

Gina: Or MAMASTE10, MAMASTE15

Roxanne: One of those.

Gina: So, we’ll, we’ll link down everything in the notes below this episode, in addition to our coupon codes. But that is how you can support our podcast ’cause we no longer have any sponsors to it. We still do love Needed, they just changed their budget, which is fine.

But yeah, so thank you Roxanne for, for being here for birthing another child.

Roxanne: I know.

Gina: It’s a business expense. This is not a sustainable business model.

Roxanne: Don’t recommend just continuing having kids.

Gina: Is this the final MamasteFit baby? We will never know. We’ll never know. It is, it is probably the final, final baby. Unless we can convince our sister-in-law to join us and let us use a MamasteFit baby. She did have her first baby not too long ago, so her baby was supposed to get all the attention for the next year.

Roxanne: I’m sorry.

Gina: However, Harvey.

Roxanne: Sorry brother.

Gina: Came along. But thank you Roxanne, for sharing your birth story with all of our listeners, and thank you all for listening to this episode.

If you would like more support during your pregnancy, during your birth postpartum, you could check out all of our online courses. We have online, pre and postnatal fitness courses, which is both self-paced workouts, in addition to video-based workouts, depending on your workout preference. We have a childbirth education course, and if you’re a professional and you’re wanting to learn more with us, our new Pelvic Mechanics course is offered both in person with workshops every month or online if you can’t travel to meet us. So check everything out on our website at mamastefit.com and use code STORY10 to get 10% off any of our online offerings.